Effects of Recession

- Most boring days at office. Ok, I am lucky that I have a job and all that but with most of the projects closing because clients have no money to give, it gets a tad boring to sit all day in office doing things totally worthless. Self motivation you may say… but you can’t do that every day and every night!

- Even people like P (my husband) have started going by bus to office ditching their beloved car… the sheer look at the credit card bills for fuel expenses must have forced him to do it. He just says it’s less strenuous... I know better! (as always)

- The grocery bills have doubled and the quantity halved. So is any other bill you can think of.

- The malls have a deserted look... whatever happened to the hip and happening crowd?

- The only word I hear everywhere I go is “Cost-cutting”… office, home … so much so even my maid has caught this word!

- I couldn’t believe that for the sankranthi festival people chose to give “one” banana along with yellu and kabbu… generally its two... so there you go!

- People used to leave their newspapers back in the bus after reading them… now I don’t see that happening. Maybe they are collecting them and giving to raddi wala for a few rupees.

- Dogs in my street have a starved look and it’s scary to go out at night. Looks like people are not giving them any leftovers!

I can go on and on… but I am myself depressed by this. Let me stop it here. Will think of something more lively to write next time.

who is better?

It has been said that “Manushya Januma” is the purest or ultimate form of life you can get through which (from your righteous living) you can attain “Moksha”. We have been brought up by giving various illustrations about how we can get an “animal” form in our next birth if we did something wrong.
- You would be born as a bed-bug in your next birth if you disturb someone’s sleep.
- Somebody had spoiled some family, and hence they are born as a cat in this birth
- If I keep some debt with you (not only monetary) I will be born as a dog in your house next time and I will repay your debt.

And so on... Whether these are superstitions are not is a separate debate. My point is not that. Are animals really less fortunate than humans? For a moment lets forget those animals which are captured by man and ill-treated; like the ones in circus and all. If we consider only that natural form of animals and re-ask the question… are we more fortunate than them?
Somehow I think differently. I feel they are more fortunate than us. They are satiated just by eating something and sleeping somewhere. But we? We need good food, we need a soft bed to sleep, we need people whom we love around us, we need money, we want this, we want that… not only greedy people; even the so called normal people need a lot more things than animals. If they don’t have them they die in misery. Whereas an animal unless dying of some disease (which we also do sometimes) never dies in misery. So how is an animal life less fortunate than a human life?

Animals don't nee to "think", which by itself is a major blessing if you ask me. They don't have to do future retirement plans, they don't even have to think about tomorrow. If they survive they do.. else they just go. But can we live like that? Never.

Hence I strongly believe that we humans are the most unfortunate because we can see/feel/think everything.

I had a neighbor in mysore, who used to feed their dog with dairy milk chocolates and kaju burfis. given a chance I would swap with snowy anytime!

Hinduism

Somebody once said Hinduism is not a religion; it is a way of life. While searching for the meaning of Soundarya Lahiri I came across some verses. I am amazed how such simple texts have such profound meaning. Most of the slokas have very simple meaning, simple enough for a common man to understand and yet for one who wants to dig into it, he can find numerous interpretations and deep philosophical meaning.

My personal favorite has always been

“ Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavanthu. Om Shanti Shanti Shanti”.

Simply translated it just means “Let everybody in the world be happy. Let Peace prevail”. Now that’s obvious, all of us want each other to be happy. But look into it deeper, it says “loka samastha”… everybody in the world, no geographical boundaries, no religious boundaries, no ethnic boundaries, no language boundaries…. Only a person with a pure heart without any tinge of hatred against anybody can wish that. If only every one of us thought this way wouldn’t this world be a beautiful place?

I like another one from the Isopanishad

“isavasyam idam sarvam

yat kinca jagatyam jagat

tena tyaktena bhunjitha

ma grdhah kasya svid dhanam”

Direct Translation: “Everything animate or inanimate that is within the universe is controlled and owned by the Lord. One should therefore accept only those things necessary for himself, which are set aside as his quota, and one should not accept other things, knowing well to whom they belong”.

Can anything be simpler than that? Accept what is yours; do not accept what is not yours. Nowhere has it said that you will rot in hell if you don’t do this or that. Everything is self controlled. Knowingly or unknowingly if you do take something which is not yours, you will somehow have to give it away. With this there is no “fear” factor. Everything is controlled by him and he will lead us to realization.

Though I don’t deny that entry level Hinduism is filled with superstitions and blind beliefs, once you come out of that circle and start thinking independently you will realize it’s the most democratic way of finding God. You go find God however you feel like. Like a treasure hunt. Each clue will lead you to the next level. I don’t see any other religion giving so much of freedom. Maybe because of this depth, this level of maturity in the religion has helped us survive even after decades of influence by other religions and constant efforts to convert us all.

An American colleague once asked me ‘How do I convert to Hinduism”. I said just start thinking independently and freely. You can be a Hindu even if you pray to Jesus everyday.

Human Nature

Human nature is sure weird. Come to think of it I don't even know if its weird or confusing or straightforward (as human psychologists claim) or whatever...

Case1: My mom, a few years back had a slip disc and that troubles her every now and then. But you should have seen her during my sis's wedding. Everything was perfectly managed and her energy levels were on an all time high. Warnings from any number of family members to take care of herself fell on deaf ears. The very next day after the wedding her pains bounced back ;-). I know that people rise up to the situation and she also had to do it as it was her own daughters wedding and all that.... so are all ailments just in our mind? Can we overcome just anything and everything just by being strong in our mind?

Case2: Unfortunately my mom-in-law met with an accident recently and her left hand little finger had to be amputed. She also has a fracture in her wrist and so has a cast on her left hand. She is able to use only her right hand for now. But this has made her over sensitive. She insists on doing work with her one hand. If somebody offers to help she gets upset. My sister-in-law is home to help her take bath and all... but if she tries to overdo the helping part, she gets back immediately. She not only wants to do her own work, but also wants to do other house hold work. She used to completely manage the kicthen before and so now not being able to do that must have hurt her confidence really bad. Also I noticed one more thing. The moment people become too "sympathetic" she gets defensive. P and me tried to tell this subtely to my sister-in-laws not to greive about the bad thing that has happened in front of my mil. But then can't blame them as well... its their mother and they can't see that she is suffering, tries to help her as much as they can and inturn get scoldings ;-)
Now this is also a case of mind game. Empathysing with her physical pain, I can't help but feel that this "insecurity" and all is just again in her mind.

Case3: P. My most fav character for analysis. Its almost 9 years since I know him, but even now I can't predict how he will react in certain situations. He reacts in totally different ways for the same situation/condition on different days. Like for example, the other day I mentioned I was feeling very tired becasue of all this extra work (office, college, home and ofcourse P), he was very sympathetic... said that this is all temporary and from the next day he even got up with me at 5:30 in the morning to help me in the kitchen. Now thats a starightforward reaction from a caring husband. But then hold on.. thats not the end of the story. On last friday, I had to skip breakfast as I got late for college and had to rush. We were celebrating "Paksha" on that day in our house so when I came back from college in the afternoon there were guests at home, so couldn't have lunch also on time.. finally when I had lunch at 4pm I felt really really tired and had to sleep off for a few minutes to be able to walk again. That evening when I told that it happened this way, he shouted back at me saying he can't help it if I don't have food on time. He is not to be blamed. He cannot spoon feed me all the time and all that..... All I expected from him this time also was the same old reaction you know... just say that "oho... did it happen like that? make sure you get up 20 mins early from next time and eat breakfast..". That's it, nothing more, nothing less. But no, all I get is shoutings...
What should we call this. People behave differently in different situations is completely understandable, but why do people behave so differently for same situations?

P.S: have noticed that I analyse things a bit too much, like the above paragraph. I can't just move on thinking that yes people behave like this and that's the be all and end all. I always end up analysing anything and everything. Any tried and tested way to stop this tendency?

Run Run.. While you can

Last three months have been hectic to say the least. MBA at an “elite” institution has its disadvantages. My house is in a mess. My book (of the novels kind) reading has taken back seat. My hobbies (of what little was left) have no time. I don’t remember the last time I took an oil bath. On the whole, my life is in a mess :-). Last weekend marked the end of first term. One step (out of 10) closer to the black cap….

Mini-shark got married and I could devote only 5 days of my precious time for the wedding preparations which included attending the wedding as well… Couldn’t attend the second reception which happened in Chennai coz I had the term exams on the same day.

Looking back, is this what I asked for? Of course there are advantages. In mini-sharks wedding half the attention was on me… not only for being the bride’s sister but for also doing MBA from so-and-so institution ;-) Apart from this false attention, the learning is good. The way I look at things are different now. I never could understand one single word in my company’s annual report. But now I can decipher almost everything and also give suggestions… if only they asked for it ;-)

Strategy has helped me understand each company’s or its industry’s position. I know which business is attractive and which is risky. Though one might argue a lot of people can do this without a degree, I can substantiate my answers and not just base it on intuition :-)

Economics has taught me why the oil market behaves the way it does. Why the local dentist sometimes makes more money than an established dental clinic.

There is no doubt that it’s good what I am doing, after all its burning a whole in my pocket and it better be worth it!

I can’t help but wonder about the whole process of higher education. No doubt it makes us better intellectuals. Note the word “intellectuals”… that’s it. Not better human beings.

Even at this level,

- People lie about how they fared badly in the exams… but the scores say a different story!

- During class discussions each one is trying to snub the other and make a point himself/herself. It’s as if the world will come to an end if I didn’t make my point.

- People still hide their assignments till the last moment.

*Sigh* and I thought “Vidya dadaaathi vinayam”. Frankly I don’t see any difference in the behavioral part from what I saw in middle school to what I see now.

So these degrees sure help you earn money. You can now easily interact with fellow intellectuals. You can now write papers on global issues and can now advise one or two (those who care to listen) about the +ves and –ves of their decision and blah blah blah.

BUT, do these degrees in any way help you make this world a better place to live in? My over imaginative mind can’t help but think… If 50 years down the line when everyone in this world can afford higher education, will this world become a place where everyone is trying to snub the other, where each day is a competition, each one is trying to outdo the other… it’s a scary thought!

This reminds me… somewhere I read “The unfortunate part about the rat race is that at the end of the race, even the winner is a RAT...” How true!!!

Hello? Can you hear me?

There is "strike" trend these days.... For any problem, all we hear is that people are on the streets protesting about something or the other. Usually its the general public that suffers. Whether the strikers achieve their objective or not is case specific, the inconvenience caused in-general to everybody cannot go unnoticed. Few examples:

• Punjabis halted rail transport in Punjab to protest against the firings in Mumbai.
• Mandya farmers are famous for blocking the Bangalore-Mysore road for any small/medium/large problem.
• Gujrars halted trains, burnt buildings, attacked officials etc, to get reservation.
• The farmers had to come on roads to ask for fertilizers and one even got killed in the process! (I personally believe that this was politically motivated, but never mind that).
  

What does this mean? For me it means two things; one, we as Indians have generally become very aggressive overnight. For everything we come on the road and fight. We simply don't believe in getting justice the right/legal way at all. Two, the governing body (state, center whatever) has become so deaf that they won't hear us unless we come and shout on the streets. Or the red tape is so much, even if there is justice given after some 100 years it is absolutely useless simply because justice delayed is justice denied.

Belated Celebrations

Wonder why are we celebrating a world cup match which we won some 25 years ago! I mean come on... do we ever celebrate a scientific discovery done yesterday like this? There is a diamond studded bat on auction and the proceedings of which will go to the players! I wonder why? They are all stinkingly rich anyways. If at least the proceedings went to charity it was ok.
They won the world cup match.. very well and good. You congratulate them "then"... all the more well and good. You shower them with goodies... and do whatever. But celebrating it after 25 years sounds very funny and "cheap". Its as if we cannot win anymore so we might as well celebrate "one" that we won some eons ago!
I love the game.. but I hate the people in the game. Its becoming suffocatingly crickety these days!!!

Back to 3 Bs

As I had mentioned earlier in one of my posts, I am now back to "part-time" college. Today was the first day and it felt amazingly refreshing to be back with Books, Benches and Breaks :)
Living upto my reputation (my BE friends would know this) I reached the first class of first day "right-on-time". Meaning 2 mins past 8am when the classes had started at 8 am ;-)
Today being the first day I guess the prof let me in, but I fear his previous reputation says otherwise.
The hand outs were given.. some two huge books of case-studies. I wonder who really has the time and most of all patience to prepare all these :-/ Anyway that aside we are assigned "designated places" in the class. Apparently there is some weightage for class participation and it helps the profs if we sit in the same place everyday. Now this arrangement is done in alphabetical order... che! didn't get a chance to six next to that hunk! I thought like in school they would make the seating arrangements according to our height.. and was hoping against hope that I would get to sit next to him... (though conventionally a guy of my height wouldn't qualify to be a hunk. but what the hell! he is good looking!) alas! the profs thought otherwise.
So shark felt nice opening the crisp new books... writing down notes and keeping the additional books in the niche under the table.
The only thing I didn't like about my class was as usual the "over-smart/know-it-all" guys. Seriously pray tell me where do they come from? Today was the "first" day in accounts class... the prof is not even done with his own introduction.. and there is this guy who already starts asking questions after proudly declaring he already read the first two chapters... bah! The prof gave him a fitting reply "the first lesson of being a good manager is to learn to be patient!". Suits him! This breed of people will be there everywhere.. now they also have the advantage of being "experienced" *sigh*.

One more quite interesting part was that I did not feel sleepy in any of the class. I felt hungry though! The class gets over by 1pm.. and my system is programmed to eat lunch everyday at 12... so 1 hour delay was too much... stomachy.. get used to it now!
The "interesting" part in this is that I didn't sleep properly yesterday night; courtesy night show of "Dashavathaaram". Is that a movie in the first place? I went with such great expectations seeing all the rave reviews that it had got... and what did I get in return? 3 hours of complete torture! If I could describe this movie in one line "Its a self obsessed kamal + Tamizh fanatic movie". Imagine the whole world somehow knows Tamizh......bah!

Kannada is IN

Have you ever noticed? The number of Kannada songs played in the FM radio stations has dramatically increased. Before fever 104 was playing mostly Hindi and some English songs, but slowly it turned the Kannada way. The RJs started speaking in Kannada and the number of Kannada songs increased. Radio city has suddenly changed its face, from the past 1 month or so its mostly playing Kannada songs as against an hour of Kannada program. I wonder what triggered this change. I read somewhere that Radio Mirchi (which was incidentally one of the first channels to becomes pro-Kannada) wooed most of the listeners its way because of the Kannada flavour. I feel except for few parts of Bangalore where there is huge population of cosmopolitan crowd... hardly anybody else would listen to Hindi and English songs. Also off late the Kannada movie industry has suddenly woken up; as though it was just in deep slumber like kumbhakarana... the movies are better, the songs are even better; It has even managed to attract the biggies from bollywood.

Though I am proud of the fact that Kannada movie industry is doing so good... This pushing of Kannada through your nose is tad getting too much. I love the new songs no doubt about it.. but I can't hear the same song thrice in a span of 2 hours. If you tune into any station between 5:30 and 8:30 in the evening (at least that's when I listen to radio) you can hear the same old songs... "Jinke marina", "ninindale", "mugaaru maleye"... etc etc.., How much ever you like a song how many times can you hear it in a day?

When a protective hand abuses you ...

I am touching on a very sensitive topic today. It was the shock of my life when I came to know that one of the girls I know has been sexually abused from a long time... when she was as young as 12. I am still trying to come to terms with the news. I know her family very well. They are very cultured and very well-to-do kind of family. She is hardly 16 now... and the culprit is none other than her own grand father. Yes the one she used to adorably call as "Thaatha". She is scared to death now to be in the house alone with that man. Initially she had not realised what has been happening to her. She thought he was just being "nice" to her. When the "niceness" crossed the limits she knew something was wrong. The man (I hate to call him even that. I would prefer to use the B word for him!!!!) threatened her that if she ever told this to her parents he will get them divorced. Being in a naive age she believed him. She shut her mouth. But this obviously affected her studies... pray tell me who can study well in such a state of mind? But then she had to bear the brunt this time as well... her parents scolded her for not studying properly. She started getting seizures.
She finally poured all her vows to me today. It is beyond my imagination that such a thing can happen in such a close proximity. I have somehow managed to convince her to focus on studies and try to avoid this man as much as possible. She has finally told her father about it a month back when her grandpa was visiting her uncle. Have to see now whether her father will let his father come home again and stay with them even after knowing everything or will he not.
I am trying to solve this to the best of my ability. I hope she gets the strength and confidence to come out of it and make a nice life for herself.
I wish the man rots in hell!

I am back!

Finally after a long self imposed hiatus... I am back! Basically had been very busy with lots of things happening around, a series of exams, project pressures.. the same old stuff.

Well, so now I am finally back to the blogging world. I know none of you have missed me or anything... but I missed this virtual world.

As the wise men say.. let the show re-begin.

Some updates just to keep you all informed:

- mini-shark is getting married in another 4 months. (Pavan you had your chance.. .missed it!)

- I am finally going to pursue higher studies... after really trying n number of times ;-)

- Married life is as lively as ever with the number of fights increasing exponentially ... ;-)

- Work was pretty hectic till the last week. Finally getting a breather now. Will resume the same old hectic schedule in another 2 weeks when another release comes along.

- Too many social gatherings and parties happening around.

Well that's the update in short for the previous 6 months. Will be back again soon

Song Tag

Shruthi tagged me. A song tag. It took me a while to do this because it took me that much time to decide on the "one song" that is "our" song. The catch words here are "one" and "our".
As I have told a million times now (my regular readers will kill me if I say it again... pavan and s.b even have a contract for the same *sigh*) P and I are kind of opposites.
So moral of the story? It's impossible for me and P to have just one song as ours. He has some songs which he feels suits us and I have my own opinion (I try my best not to be partial with SRK songs). Here's the list.

1. The first song which P dedicated to me was Yaroon Dosti Badi Hi Haseen Hain. It was a kind of first date when we went to a small snack counter and he gave me the cassette as a gift. This will definitely be a special song for me and for him too (ah! some similarity...)
2. Khamosh Raat will also be special for the same above said reasons.
3. There is one song which both of like a lot and *surprise* it happens to be a SRK song; And that's none other than Suraj Hua Maddham He likes it so much that it's been his mobile caller tune for almost a year now!
   
4. Both of us love Bryan Adams songs and we play them in full blast when we drive down to Mysore
5. But one song which I can proudly say as our song is the Shaan version of One Love! **I hope P agrees with this though ;-) **

Ok that's it. Let me now get back to listening "my songs" !

where are we headed?

I thought I was dreaming. In the dream, P actually asked me to write a blog post! Yes the same P who rarely reads my blog that I sometimes have to tell him myself to please read where there are some references of him. By the way he wants me to write about Ram Sethu and even provided me with related links!! Thanks P, and here is the much awaited post.

I purposely didn’t want to write about it. I strongly believed that it had nothing to do with Ram or Hinduism. It was plain dirty politics. I was convinced I was right. My theory: MK is sure that congress will not be in power next term. He wanted to be out of the alliance, yet did not know how to say bye. (He has not seen Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna itseems!)So he played this game. Yes he invited a lot of trouble. But indirectly it’s the central govt that’s facing the storm. They can neither publicly denounce him and his comments nor can they openly go ahead with Sethusamduram Project. Congress is doomed which is what MK also wanted.

Things turned a little sour when he (as foolish as he is) made some stupid uncalled-for statements.

“Raama is a fictional character and neither he nor his bridge ever existed”

“Was Raama a civil engineer to have built that bridge?”

…so on and so forth. I ignored these as well; one of his ever famous stupid comments against religion. (Particularly Hinduism because nobody has the guts to say anything against any other religion in this country)

Isn’t it ironical that neither the British rulers nor the Mughal emperors questioned the existence of Lord Ram? They were the so called foreigners, invaders who came to loot and destroy India. But our government is doing it. The very body which is supposed to protect us is questioning our beliefs itself!

I am not saying that everybody should believe in Ram and accept him as the supreme God, but we are a secular country right? Shouldn’t we respect each others beliefs?

Though I didn’t write about it, I was really intrigued. I wanted to find out more about this bridge. Just one NASA picture was not going to satisfy me.

If we just look at it with a religious eye, there are no second thoughts. You cannot just go and destroy a religious monument; Not only in our country, but in any country for that matter.

Let us keep the religious aspects aside for the time being, because there is no “debate” on that. I want to look at it scientifically.

The reasons given “for” the project are as below

1. Obtain a navigable sea route close to the coast, with a reduction in travel distance of more than 350 nautical miles (650 km) (for larger ships).
2. Expected to provide a boost to the economic and industrial development of coastal Tamil Nadu
3. Development of other ports can be done once this project is complete.
   

So, as clearly seen above, the main “aim” is to reduce travel distance and hence boost the coastal business.

Now, let us see why this project fails to achieve even the stated purpose.

1. The depth of the canal is proposed to be of 12 meters. This is “enough” only for small ships but not at all enough for larger ships (which is what they are aiming for). The larger ships need atleast 17 meters.
2. The time saved is just 2 hours. How much of a difference that makes in the naval world? This is because ships cannot travel at the same speed through the canal as they travel on open seas. Also there will be pilotage delay; meaning a pilot will board the ship at the entrance of the canal and get off at the exit to “guide” the ship thru the canal. We know how much time it takes for a ship to come to a complete stop and start again for the pilot to board and get down the ship…. So!
3. It’s not economical for the ships to pass thru the canal either. The pilotage costs are huge. Why would a shipping company pay those pilotage costs, when it can travel cheaper around SriLanka?
4. The canal is in shallow waters which is a high siltation and sedimentation area. There would be annual dredging costs to just maintain the canal.
5. Security. The coastal lines of this canal are till date in control of LTTE. What they would is unpredictable and hence risky.
   

It’s obvious that there are too many scientific reasons which seem quite obvious to even a common person like me, without any deep technical knowledge in this area which go against the proposed project. But still there is heavy pressure from the government to continue with the project. Why?

1. The dredging cost which I have talked about is a constant source of revenue to the dredging company. They have tied up with the govt to go ahead with this. More revenue for the company and hence more under the table revenue for the Govt.
   
2. MK wants his name to be etched in history (now it’s already done for all the wrong reasons anyway!) to be known as the man behind the Ram Sethu. This project was first conceived in early fifties; he will surely get the credit if it gets done in his tenure.
3. It’s a huge project and hence lots of employment opportunities to a very large number of people which inturn formulates into hefty contracts for some companies. (Any idea which companies and what contacts they have with MK?)
4. MK wants to send a strong message to his DMK community that he is anti religion and does not give importance for religious monuments (specially Hindu monuments because he has no guts to oppose other religions. Hinduism is a very easy and susceptible target.)

These are my imaginative reasons for them vouching so hard for the project. I might be right or wrong. There might be some other hidden agenda.

Interestingly here is a link which kind of proves that Ram Sethu is man made.

But at the end of the day, I am scared to see the path we are taking. Today it is one MK, but tomorrow there might be 100s of them. We have Muslim terrorists plotting to kill all of us, we have our own leaders against our religion… what more threat can we ask for?

Update:

References :

1. A Mythical Bridge to Voters
2. The Adam Bridge
3. The Nautical Details
4. Save Ram Sethu
5. The wiki story

and so on...

Will somebody love me please?

Scenario1: I got married at the age of 12. The next thing I knew I had 2 children, my two eyes. My whole life revolved around them. I did everything possible to make them feel comfortable. Did they need new pair of clothes? Or some shoes? There is a new brand of chocolate in the market; I should buy them for my children. My son wanted to try his hand in the film industry. My husband was dead against it. He said it is very risky and only school dropouts try it. But I fought with my husband to give our son a chance. Let him try his luck; I persisted. My husband was very angry, but I gave my son some money and he left for Mumbai. He is not anywhere near famous now… so you have guessed it right. He was NOT successful. But it took him almost 10 years to realize this. I kept sending money for his sustenance. He fell in love with a girl who finally made him realize the importance of having a stable job. She refused to marry him until he has one. He then completed his post graduation and found a good job. It took him another 5 years to settle down. I supported him all along; be it money or love or care... you name it. In the mean time I got my daughter married and she settled down. My husband was always busy with his work and though he cared a lot about all of us he would not spend too much time with us. I was the one who was always there for my children. I was so happy with them. Even though it was so much of a responsibility I never felt it as a “burden”. I looked after my son for 35 years and my daughter for 25 years. 35 years of my prime time… just for them.
My husband finally retired and we settled down in a small flat. We did not want to live with our son who now had a family of his own. Everything was just fine in it’s own place. Slowly my husband’s health started worsening. I was not so young any more, so we employed a nurse to look after him. The medical bills started getting fatter.. with none of our children willing to spend on it.. we decided to sell our flat. He died eventually leaving me all alone. Nobody was willing to give me a house for rent. I was old and it was dangerous they would say. Left with no choice I reluctantly asked my son. The answer was a firm NO. First he could not afford me (oh!), second he wanted privacy (a old woman in a corner of the house will be too much of a disturbance).
I lived with a neighbor for 45 days till I found an old age home which would take me.

I live here now. He does not even call once a week. I don’t hate him. But I often wonder is this justice? We take care of our children by giving everything we can to them. Can’t we expect 20% back from them? Is it too much to ask for 2 meals a day and a place to sleep?

Scenario 2: I used to live with my son and his family. We got along quite ok. There were no major hassles. My son got an onsite opportunity to go to USA for 3 months. He left me here saying he will be back soon. Its 2 years now and I have not heard from him. One of my relatives says he is in town and has purchased a big bungalow. I am still waiting for him to come and take me home….

Scenario 3: I don’t have a son. I thought I was lucky since I don’t have to suffer in the hands of a daughter-in-law. But last year, my daughter threw me out of my own house after I had written the entire property in her name. I was out on the street with just the clothes I had worn. I didn’t even have a single rupee. I don’t know why but I just walked to the railway station and sat there till the morning. A coolie saw me and must have somehow guessed my state. I told him my story, and he got me here. People here have time and again told me to complain against my daughter and get my wealth back. But I don’t want it. I have friends here; I have people who care for me here. I don’t even want to see her face again... not even in court.

“I” am a senior citizen; an unwanted burden on this earth. I worked till I dropped dead to bring up my children. Now, I just rot in a corner. I don’t need your money; I just need your love. Will you love me please?

These are NOT fictional stories. Every year on my Paati’s death anniversary, my mom goes to an old age home and sponsors a day’s meal for them. These are the stories which they tell her. They long for a touch… they crave for a hand which holds them. They cry if you give them something to eat. Some just sit in a corner and mourn without talking to anybody.

Oct 1st was world elders’ day. Is this what we want to give back to our parents who gave so much to us? Even if we don’t love them for whatever reasons, atleast lets not be inhuman. Let us be kind to them just as fellow human beings. Please…. Not everybody is lucky to have their parents alive for a long time… those of us who are lucky enough, let us thank God for it and let us try our best to keep them comfortable in the last days of their lives.

To Sirs and Madams (Miss’) with Love.

Disclaimer: This post is a little belated. But then as the wise men say “Better late than never!”.

I owe this to my teachers. Its Teachers Day month and it’s only appropriate if I thank each one of them who have touched my life in some way or the other. The list below is in chronological order and not in the order of importance... I would never be able to choose one from other.
This one is going to be a very long one... since there are so many to thank.

1. Amma: Mine and everybody’s first teacher. Our teacher at home. She taught me how to eat, sleep, play, talk... you name it. A BIG thanks to you Amma :-)
   
2. Paati: My grandmother. What my mother didn’t teach me, it was taught by my paati. I love you paati... wherever you are, thank you *hugs*.
   
3. Nandini miss: My kindergarten teacher – I didn’t cry a single day to go to school. She was so motherly and cheerful! She was the one who facilitated my smooth transition from home to school….
   
4. Mani miss: My LKG and UKG teacher. Whenever I think of her, I remember Mother Theresa. She was just like that; so compassionate and caring. She used to roam around the school keeping us (students) in her waist… we used to eagerly wait for our turn to be carried by her around the school….
   
5. Primary School (1st to 4th class)
   
• Shyamala Miss: Not only did she teach us the normal subjects, she encouraged all of us to participate in all extra curricular activities.
  
• Puranthar Miss: She was extremely strict at times.. and yet extremely funny on other occasions. Our favorite past time would be to guess her mood ;-)
  
6. Middle School (5th to 7th class)
• Ramamani Miss: Our class teacher. The best anybody can have. She taught us everything; English, Science, Social Studies and Maths! She made sure we not only just finished our homework, but also understood each and every word of it.
• Skandavalli Miss: Our fashion teacher ;-) She was a fantastic science teacher, at the same time dressed immaculately. We girls used to admire her day in and day out. Our role model for looking good.
  
7. High School (8th to 10th)
   
• Miss Leena: The most beautiful woman I have seen till date. Our English teacher and extremely strict of course! She taught very well but at the same time her tests were very difficult.
  
• Miss Beena: Science teacher. She used to clear all our doubts with enthusiasm. I am sure she will remember me forever as the most doubt-asking girl in class ;-)
  
• Sister Cristella: Her smile, her charm, her energy. I was a kind of teachers-pet with her ;-)
  
• Miss Vasundara: Maths Teacher. Not a fantastic teacher, but a very good human being. We were family friends. Was always ready to help somebody in need.
  
• Miss Chandrika: Science teacher again. Known for her beautiful handwriting. She was kind of monotonous at time. She used to teach in a same leveled tone…. Afternoon classes were a challenge to stay awake ;-)
  
• Miss Sukanya: Taught Hindi. Though I never took Hindi. She was famous for her two plaits. The funniest part was she used to dye her hair only on the top. The line where she used to take the partition to form 2 plaits was still white ;-). The test books which she used to correct was full of red lines… not because the students would have made mistakes.. she used to read the answers by underlining them!
  
• Miss Srimathi: Sanskrit teacher. One of the most wonderful teachers I have had till date. Her lessons were a pleasure. Not one day was boring. Thank you miss! Because of you I am still fascinated by Sanskrit :-)!
  
• Sister Clarabella: Our Headmistress. THE sister! Known for her strictness at the same time fairness in treating her subjects. She managed the school fantastically.
8. P.U.C (11th and 12th):
   
• Sambashivayya Sir: The fantastic physics teacher. Even today his voice rings in my ears. The way he used to teach.. every single concept is in our blood. Seriously! The only danger from him was for the short people (first benchers).. if he got angry with “anybody” he would actually hit the person sitting in the first row! Poor people!
  
• GSS: Maths. Teaching and all was fine. He was good at it. But I remember him for other reasons! His son was in USA… yes THE USA. This son supposedly sent chalk (yes you heard it right! *chalk*) from America for his dear father to boast about it in front of his students! He made it a point that we never forget the generosity of his son and hence repeated it every time he got a new parcel from THE USA! Also he had two pet (I mean very very pet) students in our batch; PP and S. Whatever they said was “fantastic” and he wished they were his children. It simply got funnier by the day when he started taking “permission” from then to rub the board lol!!!!
  
• Sanskrit sir: I am extremely ashamed that I forgot his name. But I have not forgotten his lectures. It was fabulous to say the least. I have heard that people who had taken other languages used to come and sit in his class just to listen to him narrate Kalidasa’s “Abhijnana Sakuntalam “. Ah! Simply superb!
  
9. Engineering
   
   Most of the lecturers were good. But then in engineering colleges I guess friends influence you more than the teachers. I have very fond memories of our outings, group studies, etc etc etc. Will write a separate post on that sometime…

So all in all, Teachers, Thank you… Thank you for making me what I am today!

P.S: People like these really need some good teachers ;-)

1. Somebody please gift her, an Atlas!!

2. Killing is the only solution to all problems

Alliance Invited ...

Disclaimer: I do not mean any offense to anyone. Post to be read on a lighter note.

Came across this “Alliance Invited” ad recently. Some portions of it, which I want to highlight, are here.

The would-be groom…

- Should be Vadama Iyer (preferably from Chennai) – Any area specifications also? I personally don’t like caste based searches, leave alone sub-caste. But then will just give this a go, seeing the ideology behind it being that the girl’s parents hope that even the guy is also born and brought up in a similar environment so that the compatibility is higher. What the heck! will just give in ;-)

- Has to be masters or PHD – In “anything” will do? And how does having degrees qualify the guy to be a good husband material?

- Should be simple caring and jovial kind of guy – Are there any guys at all who are like this?

- Should not have any bad habits. - It is implicit that they mean smoking & drinking. I wonder why they ignored to mention past girlfriends…? I also feel picking your nose in public is also bad habit. So should the guy not do that also?

- Should not be living with Parents – Now what did those poor parents do even before marriage?

- Should not have pets at home – What a dog or a cat (the usual pets) can/will do to the new bride... anyway!

- Annual income should be greater than 6 lakhs – Aww that was very generous and thankfully a comparatively low/feasible expectation.

- Preferably should be the only born. 1 sibling is still OK. – *Ahem*

- Should be willing to relocate to girls' choice of location – I always thought location preferences could be “worked-out”? Quiet a demanding criterion isn’t it?

- Should be fair tall and handsome. – what ever happened to TDH? Specially the “D” part! With all these men’s fairness creams also in the market, I don’t have words for TDHs…

- Should have gone onsite and should have more opportunities in the future – well… this has always been a standard “request” from the brides side huh? “NRI” son-in-law is a matter of pride. Gives ample scope for show-off in front of neighbors!

Pheee Pheee Stop Stop!

I got a speeding ticket in India. In Bangalore (OK near Bangalore)... can you believe this?

It happened 2 weeks back. I was driving down to Mysore from Bangalore and bhang! in the middle of the road I am stopped by a cop with a cane ready to hit my car!

I get down to see if they are stopping me for some drug trafficking or something (exaggeration huh?)...

But alas! he says "madam neevu thumba fast aagi oodistheera!".. Well 65kmph is "very fast" in India (at least in Karnataka). The speed limit was 50kmph on a state highway :((( There was a board it seems .. I didn't even see that!

I made it a point to see that while coming back.. and believe me it was half worn out already.. couldn't even make out the lettering.

There goes 300rs. BUT I was happy :) no shark has not gone crazy.. I was happy the police had speed guns and stuff.. that they could "record" who went at what speed and also their number plates and stuff. They didn't give a sheepish smile and ask for 200rs without bill. I got a proper bill. I was let out in 5 mins without any hassles. India is progressing after all....

Milestone reached.

And that was my 100th post! Congrats shark.. you made it! You made it!
OK enough of exaggeration. I know it’s not a big thing. But I have seen bloggers write such kind of self congratulatory posts … so I guess it’s the in-thing now.
I have also made my point.

Thank you readers, for reading my blog… not so thanks to those who read but don’t comment on my posts :P. No thanks at all for those who don’t read my blog! (hah! As if they will come to know about this… anyways!). Lots of thanks to those who regularly visit my blog and also comment on every post… thanku thanku *bows*.

Illige blogprachaaravu mukthaayavaayithu. Namaskara!

Law Lessons

So when did shark get an L.L.B you might be wondering after seeing the title..? Let me correct it. Its in-law lessons :-)! After 7 months of marriage and living with in-laws here’s some Gyan for future daughter in-laws…

• Mothers are simply blindly in love with their sons ;-) The sooner you accept it the better marital life you will have. Whatever the son asks for he gets it. If P asks for coffee/tea even 100 times in a day, his mom will make it for him... and that too with a smile on her face :-) I wonder if I will do that even for my son without cribbing about it :-/. Sometimes it gets a little uncomfortable seeing a grown up man being pampered that way :P I wonder why mothers don’t do the same for their daughters? My SILs come to our house... but they cook and clean and help… never have I seen them being pampered by my mil ;-)
• Never display your love for your husband in front of them physically. First of all they are older generation people and don’t approve of physical display of affection even inside the house. Second of all, such gestures cause instant insecurity that the other woman enjoys more closeness with my son types.
• Accept it. She knows the best about her son. What he likes to eat, when he wants to go out etc.., as wives, we naturally tend to force our taste on our husbands. I mean, I like having healthy breakfast... like cornflakes and fruit... things like that. But P is not brought up that way; he likes to have rice (lemon rice, puliyogare etc) for breakfast, which I consider very heavy. When we were living together without our in-laws I used to force my “health-food” on him… poor P. But now his mom just knows what to make for him and makes it... and of course scores 100s of brownie points ;-)
• Never “tell” what your husband has asked for you to do. Simply do it. Else it will get done faster by your mil... and more points for her :P. Just to cite an example, last Sunday P wanted to have oil bath and asked me to massage his hair with oil. I kept the oil on the stove for warming and told my mil to switch it off in 2 mins, as I had to use the bathroom. By the time I came back she had already started massaging. There goes my much-dreamed-about romantic oil massage experience ;-).
• Praise her as much as possible. My mil is a fantastic cook... I simply adore her cooking. But she can’t make north Indian dishes... that’s my forte *ahem*. But the moment I make something different, she says “Oh this is very easy, I can also make it from next time”… So I tell her, “No amma, I will only make these things. If you make these things also fantastically, then I will be left with nothing to be called my own”... she is very happy that I have accepted her as the Mistress of the Kitchen :)
• They will and always will talk about children. Listen to them, smile and say yes. That’s it. Even if you have other plans. It was just 3 months since we were married, but the whole family (including my side) couldn’t stop asking “so when will the good news come”.. I am like aaaarrrrgggghh! Why can’t it be left to us to decide? Is having a child the very next step after marriage?
• Most of all set the expectations right the first time. No need to go on an impressing spree in the beginning and then start cribbing that you can’t live up to it. Every small thing matters.
• Wearing slippers at home. Not many elders approve of it, but I get cracked feet if I don’t… so I made it clear in the beginning that they will have to please excuse me for this.
• I don’t wake up “early” on weekends. I am totally zapped by the end of the week... (You have seen my schedule here!) I need to catch up on sleep over the weekends. Now everybody at home have late breakfast on weekends (Since it’s my cooking time over the weekends :-))
• Cooking: I offered to cook, but I can cook only in the night as that’s when I get time. But since my mil stays at home, she prefers to make fresh food in the morning... which is fine with me. But then I can’t help her in the kitchen... and this she knows.
• Make your priorities clear: Like, I give lot of importance to my career. Just make it clear to them, lest they expect something which you won’t be able to fulfill.

>

• Last but not the least, treat them just like your parents. After all, you don’t agree with everything what your parents say... but you still live with them lovingly. It’s the same way here; just that there are little more differences because of obviously different upbringing. The key is, just say yes the first time, then make your point and say no if you feel like. They will always take it better than a big no in the beginning itself.

Happy wooing your in-laws ;-)

Tit Bit Updates

Its fifteen minutes since I came to the bus stop. Usually there is a bus every 5 minutes, but looks like its holiday for bus drivers... and that too must be a common occasion. Whatever! Finally 2 buses come together to the location and they stop. I walk over and climb the first bus. Some people decide to take the next bus, for whatever reason. One particular girl is still undecided. First or second? She moves two steps towards the first bus and then decides second one is better (maybe there is a window seat available?)
She goes towards the second one, but driver starts off… so she walks back to towards the first one, but by then this driver has also started off. Generally these drivers wait if they a see a person coming and this has happened many times with me only. But for some strange reason he doesn’t want to wait today. He also moves on. This girl has now missed both the buses… For a moment I thought she was waiting for someone… so maybe she didn’t take either of the buses. But guess what? An auto comes to a screeching halt in front of our bus after 3 stops… and who gets out? Lo and behold! The same girl… At last she decided to take the first bus after all! :-)

I arrive at my sil’s(Sister-In-Law) place at 9 in the night. It is almost 2 weeks since I saw her kids. Just as I step into her room, the younger one who is just over 6 months old, starts goo-gooing and smiles heartily at me. I go a little near to him, and he raises his hand as if asking me to pick him up. I oblige… my pleasure sweetheart !:-)
Ah then the display of affection starts… he drools all over me... he holds my hair and brings my face near to him... and starts licking me on my face… oh my!my! cute little darling might have mistook me for his mom… but then the pleasure was all mine!
I had always heard “jealousy thy name is woman”, but it’s different in this case. The elder one who is also a boy is now jealous, that I am holding his brother and so happy with him. He insists on playing with me then and there! Well OK, so the playing starts, he wants to box with me, he wants to show all his toys and I am supposed to play all of them at once ;-) So we start off... he is now super man (equipped with his superman t-shirt and all) and he wants to climb over me! He does it even when his mom is asking him not to. Then it was time for bed, and he insists that I tell him a story… I do and he sleeps with a smile on his face… Ah! The simple pleasures of life…

And most of all P will be back in 3 days time. Yippee! I had never missed him so much before in my life. It was always the other way round ;-) I was out on long onsite trips and he was in India. His trips were always very short; max 3 weeks. But the sad part is he will go back again after 2 weeks for another 3 months. Booo hoooo…..

Last week was emotionally taxing. One of my aunt with whom I thought I was very close with didn’t invite me for a function at her home. I think I know the reason, but I am surprised that strong relationships break for silliest of reasons! People rather prefer to hold grudge that mend the break. I tried my best... but then if people don’t want to hold the tie I am not the one who is going to force it.

Mini-shark (my sister) will be visiting India this month. Awww I have missed her terribly. She will be here just for a week to attend our cousins wedding, but just the thought of seeing her and sharing so many things with her makes me jump with joy. Phone and email just cannot give that personal touch.