Saturday, May 10, 2008

When a protective hand abuses you ...

I am touching on a very sensitive topic today. It was the shock of my life when I came to know that one of the girls I know has been sexually abused from a long time... when she was as young as 12. I am still trying to come to terms with the news. I know her family very well. They are very cultured and very well-to-do kind of family. She is hardly 16 now... and the culprit is none other than her own grand father. Yes the one she used to adorably call as "Thaatha". She is scared to death now to be in the house alone with that man. Initially she had not realised what has been happening to her. She thought he was just being "nice" to her. When the "niceness" crossed the limits she knew something was wrong. The man (I hate to call him even that. I would prefer to use the B word for him!!!!) threatened her that if she ever told this to her parents he will get them divorced. Being in a naive age she believed him. She shut her mouth. But this obviously affected her studies... pray tell me who can study well in such a state of mind? But then she had to bear the brunt this time as well... her parents scolded her for not studying properly. She started getting seizures.
She finally poured all her vows to me today. It is beyond my imagination that such a thing can happen in such a close proximity. I have somehow managed to convince her to focus on studies and try to avoid this man as much as possible. She has finally told her father about it a month back when her grandpa was visiting her uncle. Have to see now whether her father will let his father come home again and stay with them even after knowing everything or will he not.
I am trying to solve this to the best of my ability. I hope she gets the strength and confidence to come out of it and make a nice life for herself.
I wish the man rots in hell!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

aaargh ! Cant say more. #!@#^& bastard !!

Kavi said...

These encounters tarnish life. Sometimes you wonder what drives human beings. And how more animal than animals some of us have become.

Kadalabal said...

may girl forget the past come back to normalcy now that she has poured our both to u and then to her father she must get her confidence back to face the so called x to face and tell him on his face. let good senses prevail on her father to see that suitable steps are taken in this regard
god bless the girl and you too as you have done a yeomen service to give he r the moral support and strength to face it. forget past and think of future is only the mantra for her now. let her do it and come out with flying colours
pranesh

Veena Shivanna said...

Such things are really shock of my life.. I wonder what all would happen in this kaliyuga.
Grandpa, maama, uncle and such elders actually are considered as guardians for children and if such people turn out like this then GOD should help us. If we keep hearing such things, then we would think twice to leave our child with our own people(atleast a thought would strike).. !
I remember people saying, Attige is taayi samaana.. haNNu koTTa maava kaNNu koTTa devaru ella onde. You can imagine what respect such people get from us and because of such incidents and people these really are meaningless.

Kadalabal said...

veena
these are exceptions don't generalise as shark has put it these people can be call B for Beasts but still life goes on these sadists spoil the image of the society and family life. imagine the fate and position of a man hearing from daughter about abuse by his father it will be shock of life and worst one can hear from our own years. but he is one unfortunate and his father is one rare who has no right to live in human society. good samaritana like u people are there take in this case shark has filled all courage in the girl and she should forget this as a bad dream and go ahead I only wish let god give that unfortunate girl all the strength to forget this bad thing and concentrate on her future and be busy in one or the other thing involve in some in some habits like music drams some thing which gives u peace and grit to face the life.
good work shark I am proud of u and all those who does such acts keep up and keep going ahead in counseling this poor girl hats off to you for such great acts in this young age and I once again congratulate you
pranesh

Veena Shivanna said...

Pranesh avare, my comment is only for such people.. Of course, I find lot lot of good elders.! GOD bless

shark said...

@anon: yes. that's the exact word!

@kavi: i think even animals have their own ethics!

@kadalabal: though even i pray that she forgets it.. I for one am sure that she will never forget it in her lifetime. At the max she may get used to living with the bitter truth. I am not doing anything big. Just giving her some moral support, that's all. Though I really want to give a peice of my mind to that man... i am only keeping quiet becuase I am not supposed to know about this. I don't want to betray the girls trust.

@veena: As kadalabal says not everyone is like this. But then the thought is quiet scary. Specially when such things happen in unexpected circles. we obviously tend to see everyone in that angle... atleast for sometime now :(

@kadalabal (again): true ... as the wise men say, its only becuase of these "good" people that we are still getting rains and harvests :)

Kadalabal said...

I agree she can not forget it in her life time that is the reason why you should ask her to be busy be it in a music or any thing that interests her apart from her school/college then she will have not much time to think about her if one is having lot of free time I fully agree only such things linger ones mind. so time is the real thing and if you have no time to think/worry gets tired by the end of the day you will have a sound sleep these thing will not come to mind on regular basis still once in a while definetely it will cross over her mind ultimately it is she who should come out and go ahead thats what the intention when I said forget as a dream so as you know her closely advise her to get herself so busy then she will have little time to think about these bad moments less you think about it it is your good. I request u keep constant touch and advise her on regular basis if u know her parents too talk to them let them also not talk about this too much and give her comfort and encourage her to join whatever classes she wants to in extra curricular activities so that time flies and she will come to normal and gets that grit to face the world first step she done well by talking to someone who is close then also informing her dad so these are good developments and yes they are better late than never

shark said...

@kadalabal: Totally agree! I will try my level best. I am too young to talk to the elders directly about this.. I am not sure how they will react to this. Have to slowly do this after giving much thought. As of now I am just trying my best to be with that girl and help her with her studies and all.... Lets see how it goes.