Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Eloped? Get locked!

Gist of the Link: Boy loves girl. Elopes with her. Parents find him. Lock him up till he gets "better" (after all marrying a woman of your choice is a sin!). That's a "normal" story in India.
So what am I blogging about here?
  • One, in the above incident the poor guy was locked up for 15 years!! Can you imagine that? He spent 15 years of his formative life in a single room without a toilet!
  • His mother claims : He was acting insane after we separated him..hence we locked him up! - Quite a valid reason to lock up somebody huh?
  • She also claims that she cleaned the room everyday, but he never assaulted her - what was he to do? kill his own mother?
  • No charges have been framed against the parents, becasue they could not find any criminal motive behind it! - Isn't spoiling somebody's life criminal enough? Denying a person of basic rights isn't criminal?

So what if they are his parents? I do not deny the fact that parents do a lot for their children, and hence it's childrens' duty to listen to them and heed to their wishes. But isn't there a limit for everything. Also, even if he did not listen to them and brought them "dis-credit" by running away.. does that give them the right to do this way?

What did they acheive from this? They separated him from that girl because they thought that he would not be happy with her (whatever might be the reasons). Now did they keep him happy?

This is not just a one off incident. I had a friend whose mother used to beat her left and right if she even "looked" at other "guys". The "other" guys were sometimes her cousins in a function!

Are our children our "commodity"? Just becasue we gave birth to them, does it give us the right to do "whatever" with them?

When we have any trouble... we first go to our parents... but in these cases, the parents themselves are the trouble makers.. where do such children go for help?


mysorean said...

Psychos all!

That was just plain stupidity! Very bad!

Anonymous said...

Things are changing these days. People have started accepting love marriages but not in all families. I guess it will take some more time for things to get better.

In uneducated families its worse.

pavan kumar said...

points to note:

1) He was freaking 20 when this happened!!

2) It was a village, hence the hush-hush over this matter for such a long time

3) I guess he didnt complain because of a condition called Stockholm syndrome

shark said...

@Adi : Truely!

@hardu: Education has nothing to do with these kind of extremeties. I think this has more to do with mental health of the parents. My friends mother who I have talked about is an officer in a central bank!

@pavan: agreed with all that. My question - does any parent have a right to do these things? - I am asking because the police did not register a case against them na!

WinterBlue said...

If this is latest, you can definitely expect a Telugu movie ;)

I think the parents were insane in this occasion and not that guy. "Namage nammavare shathru... bere yaaru bekaagilla"

Hardu: I have seen and heard different stories... it's more in educated (highly) families.

Vin said...

hmmm... poor chap!! lost 15 years of his life, for falling in love ??? the newspaper said that he was insane and so he was locked, they didn't mention about his love. But these things happen, becoz "Its a Starnge World"

Anonymous said...

I just said its "worse" among uneducated people!

They might even get killed for marrying out of caste!

pavan kumar said...

"If this is latest, you can definitely expect a Telugu movie" ;)

[wb]: hehe, nice take (but the gult inside me says grrr, meet me outside. you and me..)

[shark] if the son had lodged a complaint (he is a major), that is another thing, but under such situations, due to lack of evidence, the police had no other choice (imagine digging up 15 yrs old records, and eye-witnesses who wont come as it is a close-knit community). What happened is definitely wrong. Now the solution? Educate. But would education help them realise what is "better" for their son- life or love? Tough q.

shark said...

@wb: LOL!! on the plot stuff! And your words are so true.. there can never be enemies more bitter than our near and dear ones!

@vin: See the link again now it is updated. This was a punishment for him for inter-caste marriage!

@hardu: I got you the first time itself that you meant "worse"... but I wanted to say that education in terms of degrees is not the only solution. They need to be educated on social norms.

@pavan: Totally agree that a choice between love and life is a difficult one. Yes seriously! I cannot say that always love is better... sometimes people are plain childish and in such cases it becomes parents duty to stop them. But I don't think locking him up was the solution... and that too after he was married...

These kind of social issues are better dealt with by having some kind of open discussions with them. I know it;s not at all an easy task... but atleast it will be a step forward..

Kavi said...

First time here ! You have an interesting and well maintained space !

This is quite common in ignorant, class, 'society' conscious rural India. Perhaps someday, things will change.

With the advent of technology and proliferation of information through the media, i guess we should be closer to that state !

shark said...

@kavi: Welcome! I have that hope too.. lets see how far the hope turns into reality