Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Auctioning INDIA... Unbelievable prices…. Any takers?

Bidding starts… 500 million dollars for INDIA, base price. 500m ONE, 500m TWO 500m THREE…… It appears as if there are no takers! Howz that possible? After all we are the land of elephants (and they are heavy and expensive). We are the land of snake charmers… if we are capable of taming a snake we can achieve anything right?
We are the land of brainy computer engineers, though it’s another matter that most of them are currently outside India. But come on… the resource pool is here. So why are there no takers?
Ah, I get it. Nobody wants a “complete” package. Everyone is interested in bits and pieces.

After re-consideration, bidding starts again.

10 million dollars for Kashmir… 10m ONE…10m TWO **bhang** (sound of a gun shot). The bidder is killed by a militant. For the fear of getting shot everybody agrees that Kashmir will go to Pakisthan. No cost…free… as a token of “friendship”!

5 million dollars for Arunachal Pradesh… 5m ONE… 5m TWO… wait! Wait! A Chinese representative comes to the dais. “Arunachal Pradesh was an integral part of China from the beginning, how can you even sell it now? It belongs to us. Period.If we don’t get this, we won’t send anymore Made in China goods to India.”
For the fear of not having plates to eat, mobile phones to talk, bed to sleep (all products made in China).. people give Au.P off to China as a token of “Thanks” for providing us with cheap house hold goods.

100 million dollars for Bangalore… Forget it, the bidding won’t even start. If Bangalore is not handed over to the US, then all those lakhs and lakhs of ABCDs will be sent back in 10 days… oh my God! That would be disastrous. Who will marry them if they are not in America? Ok, Given. Bangalore sold!

100 million dollars for Mumbai (or was it Bombay?)… **bhang** **bhang** **bhang**!! The underworld goons won’t let anybody else sell Bombay. They have already sold it to some Dubai Sheiks!

Chennai – LTTE all over it… it’s difficult to even set a price for it as it is no longer in our control.

So, that’s it. INDIA sold in parts to all the interested parties. After all we are a peace loving secular nation. Who cares if parts of it are ruled by different nations? Who cares if someone invades us? Who cares if someone claims some part of us as theirs? They are free to take whatever they want. It’s available for general public!

Do you think I am weaving a sarcastically funny story here? Wait and watch, this will happen really for sure. With the kind of apathetic administration that we have… this day is not very far off. With people like Abu Salem ready to contest elections, with people who are in power bothered only about vote banks and not the welfare of the nation, with leaders who are too scared to take any aggressive decisions, with terrorists being pardoned, with rapists and murderers let go scot-free, what more can we expect?

Hey Bhagwaan… is din ko dekhne se pehle mujhe uthaa lo!!!


PizzaDude said...

Hey!! Thanks for you comment.

Sojourner said...

yeah that's right.. lets take the easy way out... bhagwan se praarthna karenge - 'mujhe uta dho' :)
just trying my Hindi. Don't mind that sentence :)

I am sure we all have thought about this... but if people don't want to get their hands dirty by getting into the administration.... how is it going to change? Why am I not there? I don't like administration. My forte is something else.
I try to stay clean at what i do. Idealistic? perhaps. But what else can one person do? I can at least control myself.... its the most basic thing isn't it and perhaps the only necessary thing and perhaps the only thing that has the potential to be perfected or at least near that goal.. how can we expect everything else to work if that ain't there...?? I don't know shark, i kind of believe that, self correction is an absolute and universal solution... everything else is just temporal and transient and all that :). We have to make peace with what we have, if we are unable to force things to change or while we are waiting for it to change on its own or while we are waiting for an opportunity to change it.

shark said...

@pizzadude: You are welcome :)

@sojourner: We can have all the pateince in the world as long as we know atleast something is happening...

Not everybody can be in administration, just like not everybody can be a doctor.
But that does not mean one can't comment if somebody is not doing their job. That is democarcy right?

We the people..? For the people. By the people. :)

Anonymous said...

ok, i am prepared to grant oj simpson an honorary indian citizenship - he is an exemplary person - if only he will contest against abu salem.

one is responsible for many deaths - the other has only two victims, that too with misfit gloves because he could not afford ones that fit.

may the worst one lose!


something (everything?) in what you say makes no sense!

- s.b.

p.s.: shark, how often do you check your e-mail?

gini said...

This is a nice post. :)

No comments on the content. It won't happen atleast until we are alive.

Sojourner said...

of course shark!

priya said...

If it was bihar I wud be the happy person to lt go:-))

shark said...

@s.b: I checked and replied to your mail :)

By the way pizzadude is thanking me for commenting in "his" blog..:)

He..He.. Simpson...Wait.. who knows it will happen any time soon... when an itallian taxi driver can become the head of a ruling party and "control" the prime minister... anything can happen ;-)

@gini: Yes :) I also think it won't happen till we are alive...

@sojourner: :)

@priya: He..he.. bihar is best rules by lallu..;-)

GuNs said...

An interesting take on this but "bhang" ???

Sheesh, which movie was THAT?

I thought all gun shots went "Dhishkyaoooon" !


shark said...

@guns: ROTFL!!!!:)

Apun Ka Desh said...

One-Fifth of Parliamentarians in India (as per Outlook) have criminal antecedents. Hmmm... that says it all!

What kind of people are fighting
Recently a report said - Cable Operators are increasingly fighting elections in Bangalore - that too says it all! There have been gang wars by these folks in recent times - so u get the profile.

Anonymous said...


shark appears to have wanting to say '"Dhishkyaoooon"', but she has the 'don' hangover.

'don' has 'bhang'.

- s.b.