Thursday, October 26, 2006

When preachings are misleading.... doomsday is near

I had decided that I will not write anything AGAINST men and FOR women. Basically because, I was tired of it on one side and I was also sure that this is not going to help. Even the so called educated men who read such things take it offensively. Not my blog in particular, but in other blogs I have seen people getting all worked up because some person is supporting for the rights of women.
Does fighting for the rights of women brand you as a feminist? If all women were treated on par with men in all areas would there be any feminists at all? Is fighting for someone’s rights wrong?
The blogosphere is full of feminist blogs. I have visited atleast 100 of them myself. Though some people are over exaggerating, most of them are speaking the truth. If the truth is unpleasant for some section of the society then so be it!
These days we are hearing more and more of this men vs women debate. Why you may ask? Some have even given me the answers that “Ah! These days women have started earning, and just because they do, they think they are great and treat men with contempt!”
NO. A very big NO. It’s not ONLY because we have money, it’s because we have a voice too… and we have the right of opinion and yes we have a choice! Today women are more independent.
I agree completely, that no family is complete without a man. True, very true…. What I am saying is that it is not complete even without a woman.
Things have changed a lot today. But then, only in some sections of society. Men have become more understanding. They understand that if they are tired after coming back from work and can’t cook, their wives are also equally tired after coming back from work (if not more) and cannot cook as well. So the Darshini’s are flourishing ;-). Men do help around in the house for cleaning, shopping and cooking. I really appreciate such Men. It’s not that Men are good only if they cook… it’s just that they have the attitude to help. That’s what makes them good. Hats off to such men!
I have a cousin brother who is pathetic at cooking, so his area of expertise is cutting vegetables and washing dishes :). See, it’s the thought that counts!
P also falls in this category :). He is even more nice, when I am cooking, he sits in the kitchen and chats with me… instead of just watching TV or something. My sister infact blissfully watches TV ;-). Such small gestures, and it makes a lot of difference.

There are such men on this beautiful earth, there are also men like
Sheikh Taj el-Din al-Hilali!!!!

He claims that he was misquoted and stuff… but still in whatever context he said these sentences, he sure is wrong! Terribly wrong!

First and foremost… a woman’s attire is her choice! However revealing it is or however lucrative it is… it is NOT A LICENSE for rape! Just because a woman is not dressed properly, does not give any man any right to rape her!

His comments and my comments to his comments!

  1. Women who did not wear a hijab (head dress) were like "uncovered meat". – Oh really? Actually on second thoughts I think it’s a perfect comparison. After all women are meant to be devoured right? Bhah!
  2. I unreservedly apologize to any woman who is offended by my comments. I had only intended to protect women's honour. – Oh I see. Who are YOU to protect our honor? And honor is kept intact by covering your head? Can somebody enlighten this poor ignorant soul as to what “attractiveness” is there in the head? Men don’t have head is it? I have seen so many men who have real nice hair and are very attractive just because of that. So they don’t have to do anything to protect their honor?
  3. The sermon was targeted against men and women who engaged in extra-marital sex and did so through alluring types of clothes. – What each person does with his/her married life is left to that particular individual. There is no hard and fast rule as to what is the “cause” for such things. And please, clothes don’t come anywhere near the cause. K, for a second, lets assume that a woman is doing the dare devil act and alluring people (read married men) into her jaal. She is characterless. What are these men then? Who go behind her? Full of Character? There are lots of distractions around us. Is it our responsibility to overcome the distractions or is for the distractions to disappear? Simple logic, when we study for exams, WE are supposed to concentrate on studies and not watch TV. Do the TV channels stop airing programs? Somebody please knock some sense into this person’s head!
  4. If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside... and the cats come and eat it... whose fault is it, the cats' or the uncovered meat? – Cats are ANIMALS. Are men animals too? Food and Women are the same?
  5. Sheikh Hilali also condemned women who swayed suggestively and wore make-up, implying they attracted sexual assault. – Why doesn’t he publish a rule book? “Do’s and Don’ts of an honorable woman”!?
  6. Then you get a judge without mercy... and gives you 65 years – He was implying for men who get punished for their act! So what is the expectation pray tell me… let him go scot-free? So that he can assume that women in general are public property and he can use them as much as he wants? If you ask me, rape convicts should be given death penalty! No mercy at all!


If he was some XYZ I wouldn’t have even bothered to read about him. But he is a religious leader, a man whose words mean something to people. A man whose preaching’s are followed by his community. A man who is a representative of his community. A man of such caliber, and such words!! Disappointed!!

So what message does this give? Is it OK to rape somebody as long as that person is dressed badly? Whether a woman is dressed badly or for that matter not dressed at all, it’s not anybody’s business to go ahead and rape her! Mind your own business Mr.Raper!

He is not realising that there is something more to this issue than just woman rights. He is a religious leader, the world will look at that religion in the wrong way! Not everybody knows what that religion is all about, what such people say gives people an idea as to what that religion preaches. First of all that religion is in the news for all wrong reasons and the whole world is looking at it with jaundiced eyes, and people like him are not helping at all in improving the image! May God put some sense in to him..,


22 comments:

Sojourner said...

Who matter, are the people near us.. if every one minded their business and the near and dear and worked out their "acceptable" means of living, life will be fine.

For those who violate, and for those who abuse free will(their own and others'), well, they have no excuse.. u do, u pay...somehow someway...in some measure.. I simply mean that actions have reactions.

It is not wise to "dare" in somethings, and its not honorable to take that "dare" either... both are dumb. Just have to go with the flow when in a crowd...

But personally, I believe everyone is responsible for one's own actions - whatever it is. And Religion can guide, but nothing and no one should dictate. If one chooses to dictate or be dictated, it is again their mutual choice.

Anonymous said...

shark:

just like you, i am scared of being flamed. ok, let me rephrase that. if i write what i write, i know i will be flamed, so i am scared.

now that i have got that out of the way, i need to add another disclaimer. i did not read your entire post, just the first few lines.

ok, what the heck! there was a time when i used to side with the feminists, not anymore. just like there was a time when i was totally against bjp, not anymore. maybe it is true that the difference between a young(er) person and an old(er) one is indeed this (shamelessly paraphrased/internalized from the internet) - the younger person has a broad mind and a narrow waistline.

anyway, to me it appears that all feminists should support reservation and vice versa. you tell me, is a)feminists saying that women are downtrodden (and men denying it) not similar to b) the backward classes saying that they have always been persecuted and the forward classes forever denying it?

similarly, i don't (to a certain extent) understand the reasoning for non-vegetarians to oppose abortions. what i mean to say is, i agree, human life is much more precious than animal life (unless you talk about your shakthi, etc, maybe?), but the bottom line is, if you cannot find any issue with killing and/or eating dead animals, i don't see you having the moral right to outright oppose abortion. (disclaimer #3: "you" does not refer to "shark" per se)

there, that being out of my system, i had better run away and hide now.

- s.b.

shark said...

@sojourner: What HE says or does has absolutely no effect on me. I am blessed with a wonderful family and wonderful friends. But at the same if everybody is apathetic about what does not concern them, the world will not be as beautiful as we want it to be.
You might consider only your near and dear ones as important to you, but the whole world has people just like us.. so somebody is important to somebody. A Rape victim is also important to somebody and it's our social responsibility to empathise with her!

Yes I agree it is not good to "dare" too much. That's a different topic of discussion. But just because that is not right, does not mean that the opposite of it is right!

A rapist is a rapist is a rapist and he deserves the cruelest punishment. No Excuses! Period.

@s.b: hello! What are you trying to say? BJP? Vegetarianism? Abortion? My post have nothing to do with any of these :P
I will wait for your comments until you read the post "completely" ;-)

Vin said...

Shark, I do agree with you. My opinion is, men feel insecure. Hence they behave so.

As you pointed out. There are certain gems. I ahve seen couple of them too. But it might take centuries before we have equality.

Vin said...

Shark, I do agree with you. My opinion is, men feel insecure. Hence they behave so.

As you pointed out. There are certain gems. I ahve seen couple of them too. But it might take centuries before we have equality.

mysorean said...

Shark, your blog seems to be a good place for you to rant about things. Your blog your wish. Nothing meant to offend you. Just a thought.

Coming to the point, or wait a second, what's your point in any case?

1. "Women have a voice/ choice today" Good! Enjoy!

2. "Today's women are more independent" Better! Enjoy more!

3. "Men do help around in the house for cleaning, shopping and cooking. I really appreciate such Men. It’s not that Men are good only if they cook… it’s just that they have the attitude to help." No comments whatsoever! But yeah since "P falls in that category", congratulations! Just wondering what you would have done if fell out of that category??

4. Looks like that Sheikh Taj Mahal or someone has really played into your favourite areas. Bad for him. Good bashing up of that guy (A man of calliber, huh?!) you have done. Keep it up!

5. "Mind your own business Mr.Raper!" ROTFL! ROTFL!

6. The religion seems to be in the news always for the wrong reasons. Let's hope the religion gets its act together sometime!

pavan kumar said...

[shark] you gave given lotsa HW! and what a looong post!

firstly, what s.b. was refering to was not directly to BJP or non-veggies, but it was a mere comparison for the sake of breaking down the "feminist" psyche.. I think

ok, let me break down the sentences/ paras:

quoting "..Does fighting for the rights of women brand you as a feminist? If all women were treated on par with men in all areas would there be any feminists at all? Is fighting for someone’s rights wrong?.."

no, the same way that "not fighting" for the rights of women doesnt label a man as a male chauvinist..

and my 2 paise:

(*)Women who did not wear a hijab (head dress) were like "uncovered meat".

hehe, it directly implies that those men prying their eyes on them are like "dogs"..

(*)I had only intended to protect women's honour

by comparing them to "uncovered meat"? I am sure his daughter would have felt proud on hearing that..

but frankly, no use in bashing this guy.. it is the system. Just pray people are sensible enough to decide on their own and not fall prey to "such people", or dare I say, "uncovered meat" that got rotten?

This was his advanced Halloween gift to you!

pavan kumar said...

frankly, I always wondered.. name "atleast" (I use quote symbol coz italics tag doesnt seem to work for me) one movie where a female has more than 1 husband (unlike the other way around in southie films).. and all the 3 live happily together

none.. well there is one by EVV in telugu called "aaruguru pativratalu" but except that.. hmmn?

does this argument make me a feminist? does this reflect what our society thinks is acceptable?

shark said...

@vin: But what is there to feel insecured about? Isn't the whole world theirs :P ;-)?

@adi: Cool down! Why are you getting so worked up?
When you can rant about AR not getting his rights, why can't I fight for women's rights? You just feel for one person, but I feel for women in general.

But wait! This was not at all a Rant... I was mocking at him! I hope you get the point now.

But then as you yourslef said, this is my blog and I will definitely write what I feel like!

Coming to P, "If" he was not in that category, I would not have chosen him. As simple as that!
But he is NOT like that. He empathises with women and I thank God for that!

@pavan: I wish people were "actually" sensitive to decide for themselves.

By the way what is a SYSTEM? It's again people right? So unless people change, the system is not going to change!

shark said...

@pavan: frankly speaking, I don't accept multi-spouce system at all. Be it men or women. That's greediness!

On a lighter note.. do you think a woman can handle two men? I mean come on... it's enough to cook, clean, take care of ONE man...more than that is humanely (read womanly) impossible ;-)))

hardu said...

A very good post! If you remember, I once had a Paki girl staying with me for 2 weeks. I was shocked to know that those women are also of the same opinion. she had said that Men will get tempted if Women show their hair as well done hair can make one attractive and so Women should not show their hair"!! What kind of logic is that? It is the Men who should learn how to control but when Women also agree with it and believe it to be true, no one can help them!

mysorean said...

Well, Shark, I quote the meaning of the word "rant" here:
[Source: Dictionary.com]
"to speak or declaim extravagantly or violently; talk in a wild or vehement way; rave:"

I rest my case.

Anonymous said...

shark:

"On a lighter note.. do you think a woman can handle two men? I mean come on... it's enough to cook, clean, take care of ONE man...more than that is humanely (read womanly) impossible ;-)))"

one woman might be unable to handle two men, but two men definitely could handle one woman better than one can. one can be the cook while the other cleans the dishes; one can take the kids out, and the other will take the woman out, etc. etc. :-)

and yes, pavan got the gist of my argument. and i really did not read your issue with the dude's remarks, with which i wholly agree, but he is one man, just like - as adi says - it is just that one religion.

btw, what the dude says does have a little bit of truth, but greatbong recently wrote a great post on this topic and i doubt i can convey all of what he wrote in this comments section. unfortunately, i was unable to find that post though i searched for it yesterday. since you have him on your reading list, you probably remember the post i am referring to, and might want to link to it in this comments section so others can read it.

"Coming to P, "If" he was not in that category, I would not have chosen him. As simple as that!
But he is NOT like that. He empathises with women and I thank God for that!"

are you saying that - in a similar situation, if after marriage, if a husband comes to his "manly senses", and decides to quit cooking and washing the dishes etc, the wife would/should say talak three times and kick him our of your house? or would/should she be an 'aadarsh bhaarateeya naaree'?

vin/shark:

"vin: But what is there to feel insecured about? Isn't the whole world theirs :P ;-)?"

if the whole world is theirs (ours?), more the reason for them (us) to feel insecure that it is leaving our grasp. isn't this similar to why the rich are more insecure than the poor? or were you just joking when you wrote the above, shark?

- s.b.

Kavi said...

Shark ! Thats some straight talk !

Well, here are my thoughts on this. Enough of water has flowed under the bridge with morons like Shiekh Taj whatever. These days, i have chosen to boycott their thoughts and opinions. These are public nuisances. Best ignored.

On the other elements, well, the man - woman relationships are evolving over time. Men and women are more understanding of each other and ready to move out of stereo types of whatever hue. Things am sure are much better than what they were, and am sure they will be much better than what they are now !

Jo said...

I feel all the talk which
Sheikh Taj Mahal (as Adi refers to him..he he he )gave was just a publicity stunt. Nowadays it has become a norm for muslim religious leaders to spew out some inane,irrational comments.It is like a competition for "Who says the ghastliest things?" .Then wait for people to pounce upon them with charges only to 'apologize' later...!!

Ashish said...

For this men who are used to the idea that women are chattel, it is difficult to change their minds or make them see reason.
It is the normal folks in families and all who need to be changed so that they inherently believe in the concept of equality

Sojourner said...

hi shark,
U are right about that: "someone is important to someone"...
and that is why it will work... it is not apathy, it is grass root empathy. It has to start there. If it was there, there wont be a problem in the first place.. I was just trying to find the root cause.

And I am all 'for' personal freedom, so about "dare", I did say that both are dumb... which is dumber will be known by the price that is paid for it. But there are no comparisons in certain things. this is one of them. u are right there too.

Hope u are having a fine weekend.

shark said...

@hardu: Thanks :) So when do you think women will agree to such things? When these so called religious leaders who are "supposed" to be speaking the words of god say this way, people believe it. Don't we follow the words of our swamijis?

@adi: I KNOW the meaning of rant kano!
Good that you rested your case. I have no itentions of fighting with you!
I am fighting with that Taj Mahal Guy ;-)

@s.b: Yes I got your point after pavan explained :)
And my point is EXACTLY against that ONE man. When did I ever say that I am agaisnt the whole world? Haven't I specifically mentioned HIS name and my comments are for HIS comments?

Coming to "P". I re-iterate again. Washing/cleaning or cooking does not define a good husband. It's the thought that counts. Just empathising with wife will do. Appreciating her efforts will do. This is a basic trait of a person. I don't think this will change. It's not becasue of me that P has the thought. He has that thought even for his mother. So he didn't get this quality "now". SO there is no point of loosing it too.

But even for a moment if he think that he does change. I know the ways to change him back ;-)

And yes I was of coutse joking to Vin's comment. Doesn't the ":P" and ";-)" give the meaning?

@kavi: I completely agree that things have changed now. My post is against those who HAVEN't changed :)

@jo: Publicity? I hope they realise that are getting themselves mocked at! Poor souls!

@ashish: Completely agree with you!

@sojourner: Glad we are on the same grounds :) Hope you are also having a nice weekend :)

Velu Nair said...

Thats quite a whole lot of discussion going on here, at the moment!! :)

Point No:4 as mouthed by the man in question, is shocking. nothing less. I am glad that ur long rant has served some purpose!

:)

bellur said...

shark,
"when we study for exams, WE are supposed to concentrate on studies and not watch TV. Do the TV channels stop airing programs? Somebody please knock some sense into this person’s head!"
very good example. well written.
good luck and take care

shark said...

@velu: I am not sure if my so called rant has served any purpose at all... I have no way of directly interacting with that guy.. this is my only medium to express my thoughts about him! I am just thinking out loud :)

@bellur: Thanks :) Hope you had a nice weekend.

Anonymous said...

در اجرای طرح ارتقای امنيت اجتماعی که از ابتدای ارديبهشت‌‏ماه آغاز شده, برخورد با مالکان خودروهای حامل افراد بدحجاب در دستور کار پليس قرار گرفته است، بر اساس اين طرح خودروهای حامل فرد بدحجاب يا خودروهايی که زنان بدحجاب راننده آن هستند، توسط ماموران اجرای طرح امنيت اخلاقی يا ماموران راهنمايی و رانندگی توقيف و به پارکينگ منتقل می‌‏شوند.
به گزارش خبرنگار ايلنا, نيروی انتظامی با اين توجيه که حضور فرد بدحجاب در خودرو از جرائم مشهود محسوب می‌‏شود، نسبت به برخورد با خودروهای حامل فرد بدحجاب اقدام کرده و راساً به توقيف خودروها می‌‏پردازد.

ماموران زنا زاده پلیس راهنمایی رانندگی ایران بجای اینکه هزاران راننده که مانند حیوانات با سرعت غیر مجاز، عبور ممنوع و صدها مورد جرایم مشهود خطرناک را پیگیری کنند در برابر این جرایم سکوت می کنند و ماشین افرادی را که موهایشان پیداست توقیف می کنند!

آی کیر خوک و خر و سنده خوک و خر تو کس حضرت زهرا بنت رسول الله چون ملایان می خواهند ایرانیان مثل این فاحشه قریش باشند.
سنده سگ تو کس ننه و زن و دختر رسول الله به خاطر این قوانین مسخره و حیوانی قرآن.
سنده شیطان تو حلق محمد قرآن شد.