Thursday, May 17, 2007

Beardy Misery

I am fed up trying to get P shave his beard regularly! What's with you guys? What's so difficult in shaving a simple beard? I have tried every known technique to get him shave his stupid beard regularly, but till now not one has been successful! He shaves only when he wants to!!!
Below are some of our conversations. My "requests" followed by his responses (denials) in italics.
  • P, why don't you take a shave today: "No ma, it's not grown enough, I will surely do it tomorrow"
  • (Next day) It's already 6:45 we have to leave in another 20 minutes and you have to take a shave P, why don't you get up?: "Oh come on! from when did a shave become more important than my blissful sleep? I need rest, I had a tiring day yesterday."
  • (2 days later) P, I think today you HAVE TO take a shave, see I didn't bother you yesterday also... please sweetheart (notice the "maska" words...) do it na : "Dear, tomorrow it's Saturday.. weekend. Who will see me over the weekend except you? So why do you worry.. will do it once and for all on Sunday so that I can go fresh on Monday. Please..."
  • (Come Monday again) Will you do it today at least? (no maska now... a little irritated actually) : "Oh! Didn't I tell you? My colleagues told me I look good with a beard, so I have decided I will keep it after all!" (My reaction: what!!! who are those morons who thinks a beard looks anything other than dirty...grrrrr)
  • (That evening) You know what P, nothing turns me ON more than a clean shave face.... (This is the max I can do.. hoping for some positive results) : "Why didn't you tell me this before... will surely do it tomorrow **sweet smile**!!" (Ah! you may think I am a very happy woman after that.... fat chance! notice the word "tomorrow"... and tomorrow never comes...!!!)

Yesterday, one of my old friends called after a long time and he suggested we have lunch/dinner sometime together. He is also recently married. I mention this to P, and guess what he says "Ah! That guy, his wife is very beautiful, let me know in advance when we are going out together.. I will take a shave that day." *ahem* well! At least now I know what is the incentive for the much needed shave!!!!!


Srikanth said...

I donot understand why women are so obsessed with "beard" (grin...)

We have this same conversation and believe me, the same questions hold good for us as well.

To add to my woes, we now have two women at home to drive their agenda. My daughter also teams up with her mother once in a while.

Women of the world, wake up and stop bothering your "bearded halfs" for not shaving.

even Abhishek Bachan was sporting beard even on his wedding day ;)

praneshachar said...

for some it is like that yes true it is one of the irritating things to do. what to do we have to do no other go. I see lot of people grow beard in various ways full half so on and so forth some are phd dadis some are Dr.Zhivago one some are amitabbacchan etc. etc.,
Any how P should not have irritated you so much on this after all you have got right to ask him to shave ( at least now in the beginning)

infinity said...

see, you dont understand the underlying (I dont mean under the beard) benefits:

1) imediate superior thinks I am working hard, so hard that shaving is a big time-waste

2) better treatment in bus/train commute (Imagine a chiknaa fighting for a seat, na.. a bearded person is assured victory due to his ruffian looks)

3) Winters: keeps warm, dont need scarfs

4) helps to cover-up, if you kick a puppy and next day you are in police line-up, you would come clean-shaven to dodge the description

5) humility: keeps reminding us that we evolved from cavemen/apes

6) Shaving is shown to have increased global-warming, and takes about 400 cals per session!

I rest my unshaven case :)


Kavi said...

I remember a Remo Fernandez Song.. i think, where he asks why the world has a problem with his beard when they did not bother about Jesus Christ !! :)

Some days back, i decided to sport a beard and it was appraisal time. I was (quite obviously) asked why. And i told them, it was appraisal time and i had to show them some growth ! So. !

Anonymous said...

"You know what P, nothing turns me ON more than a clean shave face.... "

now i know the secret behind the shark (and why mr. aishwarya and his father don't cut it) - palmolive ka javaab naheen!

- s.b.

Veena Shivanna said...

Good humourous post after all those serious ones!
I could just smile and stop! I know I know, what bothers much :-) *wink*

Anonymous said...

So, madam is back in action huh? Useless female, you still haven't replied to my mail :-).
Why do you bother P so much? I really sympathize with P.
Good to see a lighter post from you :-)
~ Three guesses who!

Cinamon said...

lady... 6 years and i am trying to get my man shave on a sunday. can count the successful days on the tips of my fingers.

I stopped bothering when he asked me "do i run after your life to go wax your legs?? why do u run after my life then?".

Vijay said...

"Ah! That guy, his wife is very beautiful, let me know in advance when we are going out together.. I will take a shave that day."


But seriously, I think shaving is a curse...I am forced to do it everyday (sometimes every other) because of my office stuff (meeting client, customer, byanku etc)... I am jealous of P...

M O H A N said...

Lets put it this way - For a woman presentation is everything just next to cleanliness.

For a man - presentation is based on requirement and necessity.

So this eternal fight goes on. Come on gals, you dont need to shave for all occassions and reasons - its a huge waste of time and resource.

shark said...

@srikanth: I wonder then why do men are particular about women looking good? (with their eyebrows done, legs waxed...) :-P

With Abhishek.. no comments.. he looks sexy to say the least with a beard.. but not everybody looks that way right ;-)

@praneshachar: I know! He has to be little considerate atleast in the initial days na... who will give him some good buddhi ;-)

@pavan: Leave it to you to come up with some fantastic counter arguments... I will make sure you and P never meet ;-)

@kavi: suddenly I wonder how to women show that they are working very hard?

@s.b: That was only to make him shave...;-)

@veena: It bothers to even "look" at it.. so you can imagine the rest ;-)!

@anon: le.. nange neenu gotthagalla ankondya :P
Is there anybody to sympathise with me? :(

@cinamon: welcome here..:) and it's so soothing to know I have company!

@vijay: Jealous of P?.. Now I should add your name in the list also. "Whom all P should never meet in his life" ;-)

@mohan: congratulations! you are also added in the list ;-)

Kadalabal said...

"who will give him some good buddhi"
who else can give it is SHARK the Great SHARK give him buddhi bega so the your problems are solved at least for the time being
all the best