Saturday, February 05, 2011

Relationships

When do we consider that we are successful in a specific relationship? Be it Father, Mother, Siblings or Spouse....?
  • There cannot be any relationship without a compromise. But when do we know that we are compromising too much? Where do you draw the line?
  • When do you know that the fights are too much? Is there a yard stick? 2 fights in a week is ok or not ok?
  • How will you know if YOU are doing justice to a relationship?
  • On the other hand how do you make the other person know that you are doing the best you can and they need to appreciate the effort even if the results are not favorable.
  • How will you stop being taken for granted?
If the strain in the relationship is obvious, like a dowry-harassment or a property fight or physical violence, the success of such relationships can be evaluated quite easily. But when things are subtle, when the results are not so obvious... how do you gauge?

11 comments:

cbeck said...

That's a tough one. With my wife being a counselor, I am inclined to suggest talking to someone about it. But I was never very good with that sort of stuff.
She's over here:
http://beckerpsychology.blogspot.com/
If I remember, I may suggest she come and weigh in. She always seems to have great advice for me. Sorry for trolling your comments here. I do hope that wasn't supposed to be a rhetorical question...

Oto said...

We only know we are compromising too much when the result is being hurt too often.

If you fight all day everyday, I'd say it's pretty much over. If you fight daily, then I'd say it's about over as well. If you just simply can't get along with someone, and can't converse with them like a rational adult, and all you do is fight...that's where you should call it quits.

You know you're doing justice to a relationship when the outcome is a great one.

If the person feels you aren't doing the best you can, even when you are, then maybe you're putting too much effort into the relationship, as is, it sounds like it's not worth it to be with someone who can't completely understand you. If they can't appreciate you for all that you've done, then that's that.

The only way to stop being taken for granted, is to care about your feelings, and if people can't meet the needs you've set, then it's time to find someone who can.

If it's subtle, it eventually comes into view. The little things eventually start to show themselves, and in the end, they can become a big deal.

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praneshachar said...

there can not be any relationship without differences. arguments and healthy discussions are fine but all are human beings and little bit of ego and emotions will be attached so it will be good task to handle with care. one of the two should be smart to close the arguments or fights so that once calm comes thinking will be different. fights difference arguments etc.., are part of life but they should not stretch beyond compromise and lead to strained relations. this will be very bad thing to happen. hope most of the readers will agree. would like to hear from you all and blog owner
too

Talitha koum said...

Those are questions everyone could have asked themselves at least once in their lives :)

Well, I think that relationships are supposed to build up each other. If your compromise would only feed their negative attitudes. What's needed is a hearty talk so that all the bitterness that could go with "unreasonable" demand to compromise would be let go :D

❤ Faye of Memoirs of the King's Beloved

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Unknown said...

I think I could possibly be in a relationship like this, and its so easy to say "walk away" but there's so much more to a relationship and nothing is ever that easy,

I feel like I've lost who I am, my personality has changed dramatically and I'm desperately holding on to it, but at the end there's a choice of yourself or the relationship.

the hardest part I think is that I know we love each other but I'm starting to question if that's enough?

talking gets me nowhere its a cycle of me getting my point across and it be swung around and changed and then I end up feeling in the wrong but I know there was no wrong, its so frustrating, but if I mention the end its all begging and pleading and we're good for a few days and then back to square one...

Shark said...

well, looking at all the comments here (albeit quite late).. it does seem like maintaining a relationship is a lot of effort! Is there a way out :)?

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