Scenario1: I got married at the age of 12. The next thing I knew I had 2 children, my two eyes. My whole life revolved around them. I did everything possible to make them feel comfortable. Did they need new pair of clothes? Or some shoes? There is a new brand of chocolate in the market; I should buy them for my children. My son wanted to try his hand in the film industry. My husband was dead against it. He said it is very risky and only school dropouts try it. But I fought with my husband to give our son a chance. Let him try his luck; I persisted. My husband was very angry, but I gave my son some money and he left for Mumbai. He is not anywhere near famous now… so you have guessed it right. He was NOT successful. But it took him almost 10 years to realize this. I kept sending money for his sustenance. He fell in love with a girl who finally made him realize the importance of having a stable job. She refused to marry him until he has one. He then completed his post graduation and found a good job. It took him another 5 years to settle down. I supported him all along; be it money or love or care... you name it. In the mean time I got my daughter married and she settled down. My husband was always busy with his work and though he cared a lot about all of us he would not spend too much time with us. I was the one who was always there for my children. I was so happy with them. Even though it was so much of a responsibility I never felt it as a “burden”. I looked after my son for 35 years and my daughter for 25 years. 35 years of my prime time… just for them.
My husband finally retired and we settled down in a small flat. We did not want to live with our son who now had a family of his own. Everything was just fine in it’s own place. Slowly my husband’s health started worsening. I was not so young any more, so we employed a nurse to look after him. The medical bills started getting fatter.. with none of our children willing to spend on it.. we decided to sell our flat. He died eventually leaving me all alone. Nobody was willing to give me a house for rent. I was old and it was dangerous they would say. Left with no choice I reluctantly asked my son. The answer was a firm NO. First he could not afford me (oh!), second he wanted privacy (a old woman in a corner of the house will be too much of a disturbance).
I lived with a neighbor for 45 days till I found an old age home which would take me.
I live here now. He does not even call once a week. I don’t hate him. But I often wonder is this justice? We take care of our children by giving everything we can to them. Can’t we expect 20% back from them? Is it too much to ask for 2 meals a day and a place to sleep?
Scenario 2: I used to live with my son and his family. We got along quite ok. There were no major hassles. My son got an onsite opportunity to go to USA for 3 months. He left me here saying he will be back soon. Its 2 years now and I have not heard from him. One of my relatives says he is in town and has purchased a big bungalow. I am still waiting for him to come and take me home….
Scenario 3: I don’t have a son. I thought I was lucky since I don’t have to suffer in the hands of a daughter-in-law. But last year, my daughter threw me out of my own house after I had written the entire property in her name. I was out on the street with just the clothes I had worn. I didn’t even have a single rupee. I don’t know why but I just walked to the railway station and sat there till the morning. A coolie saw me and must have somehow guessed my state. I told him my story, and he got me here. People here have time and again told me to complain against my daughter and get my wealth back. But I don’t want it. I have friends here; I have people who care for me here. I don’t even want to see her face again... not even in court.
These are NOT fictional stories. Every year on my Paati’s death anniversary, my mom goes to an old age home and sponsors a day’s meal for them. These are the stories which they tell her. They long for a touch… they crave for a hand which holds them. They cry if you give them something to eat. Some just sit in a corner and mourn without talking to anybody.
Oct 1st was world elders’ day. Is this what we want to give back to our parents who gave so much to us? Even if we don’t love them for whatever reasons, atleast lets not be inhuman. Let us be kind to them just as fellow human beings. Please…. Not everybody is lucky to have their parents alive for a long time… those of us who are lucky enough, let us thank God for it and let us try our best to keep them comfortable in the last days of their lives.
My husband finally retired and we settled down in a small flat. We did not want to live with our son who now had a family of his own. Everything was just fine in it’s own place. Slowly my husband’s health started worsening. I was not so young any more, so we employed a nurse to look after him. The medical bills started getting fatter.. with none of our children willing to spend on it.. we decided to sell our flat. He died eventually leaving me all alone. Nobody was willing to give me a house for rent. I was old and it was dangerous they would say. Left with no choice I reluctantly asked my son. The answer was a firm NO. First he could not afford me (oh!), second he wanted privacy (a old woman in a corner of the house will be too much of a disturbance).
I lived with a neighbor for 45 days till I found an old age home which would take me.
I live here now. He does not even call once a week. I don’t hate him. But I often wonder is this justice? We take care of our children by giving everything we can to them. Can’t we expect 20% back from them? Is it too much to ask for 2 meals a day and a place to sleep?
Scenario 2: I used to live with my son and his family. We got along quite ok. There were no major hassles. My son got an onsite opportunity to go to USA for 3 months. He left me here saying he will be back soon. Its 2 years now and I have not heard from him. One of my relatives says he is in town and has purchased a big bungalow. I am still waiting for him to come and take me home….
Scenario 3: I don’t have a son. I thought I was lucky since I don’t have to suffer in the hands of a daughter-in-law. But last year, my daughter threw me out of my own house after I had written the entire property in her name. I was out on the street with just the clothes I had worn. I didn’t even have a single rupee. I don’t know why but I just walked to the railway station and sat there till the morning. A coolie saw me and must have somehow guessed my state. I told him my story, and he got me here. People here have time and again told me to complain against my daughter and get my wealth back. But I don’t want it. I have friends here; I have people who care for me here. I don’t even want to see her face again... not even in court.
“I” am a senior citizen; an unwanted burden on this earth. I worked till I dropped dead to bring up my children. Now, I just rot in a corner. I don’t need your money; I just need your love. Will you love me please?
These are NOT fictional stories. Every year on my Paati’s death anniversary, my mom goes to an old age home and sponsors a day’s meal for them. These are the stories which they tell her. They long for a touch… they crave for a hand which holds them. They cry if you give them something to eat. Some just sit in a corner and mourn without talking to anybody.
Oct 1st was world elders’ day. Is this what we want to give back to our parents who gave so much to us? Even if we don’t love them for whatever reasons, atleast lets not be inhuman. Let us be kind to them just as fellow human beings. Please…. Not everybody is lucky to have their parents alive for a long time… those of us who are lucky enough, let us thank God for it and let us try our best to keep them comfortable in the last days of their lives.
