Thank You

Sometimes people touch your heart very unexpectedly. Here is a note of thanks to all those people whom I don’t know at all. But they surely make this world a better place to live.

1. N Krishnan in Madurai. In these days when people refuse to even look after their own parents, here is a guy who feeds mentally ill people on the streets of Madurai and that too three times a day! How can you ever say thanks to this guy? No amount of praise is enough. All I could do was shed those tears of joy. As the elders say, its because of such people that we have rain and harvest still in this world!
2. All those municipal corporation workers who clean/repair our drains. It’s a thankless job to say the least. Not to mention what meager salaries they get for doing such a job. Just imagine how our homes would be without them… so a BIG thank you to all of them for keeping our homes mess free in an indirect way :-)
3. Traffic policemen: We work in air conditioned offices… if not that atleast an office with a fan, sitting at one place and yet crib about job non-satisfaction, lesser amenities and what not… Just imagine the conditions which these guys work day in and day out. Dust all around, people not heeding to their instructions.. how frustrating can life be? A little note of thanks to all the traffic policemen!
4. Construction Workers: Most of the big time builders boast of big and successful projects. But ultimately each brick is laid by an anonymous construction worker. Here is a note of thanks to all those who have toiled in rain and shine for making our lives comfortable.
5. Scientists: Imagine how our world would be without those lives saving inventions. Be it in medical field or even home appliances field for that matter… our lives are much more comfortable, safer and luxurious because of these inventions. A BIG thanks to one and all who made this possible.

Well, the list can go on and on, so let me put a stop to it and say a general thanks to all of those people who have made this world a better place to live!

P.S: There is no point in telling where I was all these days. Let me put it straight.. I was plain lazy! So lets get to the posts right away.

Will somebody love me please?

Scenario1: I got married at the age of 12. The next thing I knew I had 2 children, my two eyes. My whole life revolved around them. I did everything possible to make them feel comfortable. Did they need new pair of clothes? Or some shoes? There is a new brand of chocolate in the market; I should buy them for my children. My son wanted to try his hand in the film industry. My husband was dead against it. He said it is very risky and only school dropouts try it. But I fought with my husband to give our son a chance. Let him try his luck; I persisted. My husband was very angry, but I gave my son some money and he left for Mumbai. He is not anywhere near famous now… so you have guessed it right. He was NOT successful. But it took him almost 10 years to realize this. I kept sending money for his sustenance. He fell in love with a girl who finally made him realize the importance of having a stable job. She refused to marry him until he has one. He then completed his post graduation and found a good job. It took him another 5 years to settle down. I supported him all along; be it money or love or care... you name it. In the mean time I got my daughter married and she settled down. My husband was always busy with his work and though he cared a lot about all of us he would not spend too much time with us. I was the one who was always there for my children. I was so happy with them. Even though it was so much of a responsibility I never felt it as a “burden”. I looked after my son for 35 years and my daughter for 25 years. 35 years of my prime time… just for them.
My husband finally retired and we settled down in a small flat. We did not want to live with our son who now had a family of his own. Everything was just fine in it’s own place. Slowly my husband’s health started worsening. I was not so young any more, so we employed a nurse to look after him. The medical bills started getting fatter.. with none of our children willing to spend on it.. we decided to sell our flat. He died eventually leaving me all alone. Nobody was willing to give me a house for rent. I was old and it was dangerous they would say. Left with no choice I reluctantly asked my son. The answer was a firm NO. First he could not afford me (oh!), second he wanted privacy (a old woman in a corner of the house will be too much of a disturbance).
I lived with a neighbor for 45 days till I found an old age home which would take me.

I live here now. He does not even call once a week. I don’t hate him. But I often wonder is this justice? We take care of our children by giving everything we can to them. Can’t we expect 20% back from them? Is it too much to ask for 2 meals a day and a place to sleep?

Scenario 2: I used to live with my son and his family. We got along quite ok. There were no major hassles. My son got an onsite opportunity to go to USA for 3 months. He left me here saying he will be back soon. Its 2 years now and I have not heard from him. One of my relatives says he is in town and has purchased a big bungalow. I am still waiting for him to come and take me home….

Scenario 3: I don’t have a son. I thought I was lucky since I don’t have to suffer in the hands of a daughter-in-law. But last year, my daughter threw me out of my own house after I had written the entire property in her name. I was out on the street with just the clothes I had worn. I didn’t even have a single rupee. I don’t know why but I just walked to the railway station and sat there till the morning. A coolie saw me and must have somehow guessed my state. I told him my story, and he got me here. People here have time and again told me to complain against my daughter and get my wealth back. But I don’t want it. I have friends here; I have people who care for me here. I don’t even want to see her face again... not even in court.

“I” am a senior citizen; an unwanted burden on this earth. I worked till I dropped dead to bring up my children. Now, I just rot in a corner. I don’t need your money; I just need your love. Will you love me please?

These are NOT fictional stories. Every year on my Paati’s death anniversary, my mom goes to an old age home and sponsors a day’s meal for them. These are the stories which they tell her. They long for a touch… they crave for a hand which holds them. They cry if you give them something to eat. Some just sit in a corner and mourn without talking to anybody.

Oct 1st was world elders’ day. Is this what we want to give back to our parents who gave so much to us? Even if we don’t love them for whatever reasons, atleast lets not be inhuman. Let us be kind to them just as fellow human beings. Please…. Not everybody is lucky to have their parents alive for a long time… those of us who are lucky enough, let us thank God for it and let us try our best to keep them comfortable in the last days of their lives.

Moral Policing: Just ban/ don't implement anything against "Indian" values.

Yes, it’s long time since I wrote post. Being a married working woman is not an easy job you see :-) There are lots of perks to it too. Just the thought that someone is waiting only for me at home makes me smile and go home. Anyway that’s not the subject of the post.

It started with Madhya Pradesh, followed by Karnataka, and now even Maharashtra seems to think on the same lines. AND THE STUPIDITY CONTINUES…

• Basic question: Why are we being so hypocritical? What is there to “hide” in this? These kids will anyway come to know about it through TV and Internet. Why ban the “legal” means of communication?
• Denial: For heavens sake, grow up :-) What makes these people think that the kids won’t indulge in it if it is not taught in school? Infact curiosity will lead to more dangerous situations!
• Biological Vs Moral: Somebody wise said, “Half Knowledge is more dangerous than no knowledge at all.” Why don’t we teach our kids the “complete” process? Let us for the time being, forget about the morality aspect of it. It’s always debatable. And there are parents who will/should take care about teaching proper moral values to the kids. Let the school just teach the biological aspect of it.
• Safety: Most of the children, who indulge in such activities for whatever reasons, fun, money or any other thing, have no clue about safe sex practices. So AIDS and other STDs are spreading like wild fire! Isn’t it more prudent to tell our children about the safe-practices so that they don’t expose them-selves to danger?
• Prevent Abuse: We have heard of many cases, where the children don’t even realize that they are being sexually exploited. This is because they have very little knowledge about these things. How will a small child know what parts of the body can be touched and what are really private and not be encroached upon?
• Alternatives: They say yoga should be taught in place of sex education. It upholds Indian values more it seems! Why should yoga be an “alternative”? Why can’t yoga be a part of the curriculum along with sex education? Lets accept some basic facts here, teenage children are by nature distracted … you make them meditate, they will meditate about something else altogether! We are asking teenage children to control their minds and urges when we haven’t been successful in making grown up men and women to do the same?

Besides, I think even if the political parties play their stupid politics, the parents should take the onus and give some basic awareness to their children, with child molesters lurking around just about everywhere; we owe this to our children and school goers.

Let sex education begin at home. Let’s keep our children safe.

They are Highly Insensitive Vermins - But... Am I Denounced Sinful?

I am a young boy studying in school. I am 4 years old. Everyday when I go to school, I get weird stares from everybody. Nobody sits with me. Not even Ramu, who is the best boy in school and is friends with even the watchman. He is always smiling and talking in class, but he is upset with me. I don’t know why. He does not talk to me anymore.
Everything was nice and beautiful when I joined school, I had friends. I played with them all the time. We drew pictures together. We had lunch together. But something changed when my teacher got to know about my mom, dad and me. We are a nice family like any other. My mom and dad are nice, they buy me whatever I ask for. But strangely they can’t buy me friends. Neither do they have friends. We never visit anyone, nor does anybody visit us. Not that we are bored with ourselves, we have the TV and video games, but we sure could use some company from time to time.
My mom says I have to get used to living alone. She says we have been cursed with something. I ask God everyday if I have done something wrong, but I don’t get any answer.
My mom silently cries sometime in the Pooja room or in the bed room. My dad is sometimes engrossed in deep thought. I don’t know what they are so sad about, but I think they also miss friends like me.
Now my mom says I can’t go to school any more. I like going to school, it is so much fun. I cried, and she cried with me, but insists I can’t go there anymore.
WHY? Why me?

I am sure these were the thoughts in the young boy’s mind when he was sent home from school. After all he was HIV infected. The dreaded infection!
This infection incidentally is more dreaded because of its “cause” rather than it’s “effect”.
I had a friend, who was doing her masters in social work, and she happened to do some research on AIDS patients and yes, it is traumatic. Especially when the patient is in the last stages, it is impossible to even look at them. They will have acute infections in their private parts and a simple thing as going to the loo is a traumatic exercise.
But then, isn’t any disease traumatic? What about Cancer? What about TB? In all these cases the patients die a slow and painful death. But why this terrible discrimination only against AIDS? Is it only because it is transmitted sexually? The answer is YES.

First and foremost, let us clear some myths about this disease:

1. HIV infection does not necessarily mean AIDS. HIV +ve simply mean you have the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. Just like any other infection, if this is also treated in the very initial stages of infection, chances of NOT getting AIDS are high. But then we must also note here that most of the patients who are HIV +ve contact AIDS at some point or the other simply because the initial infection went un-noticed.
2. HIV infection (or even for that matter AIDS) is NOT transmitted just like that thru air. It does not affect if you sit in the same class and study together. (Only lice and common cold get transmitted that way!)
3. It’s NOT a person’s fault if he is infected. People catch so many infections and he/she has caught this one. It is as simple as that. And for heaven’s sake it is definitely not the fault of a 4 year old kid!!

What can we do to stop this discrimination?

1. EDUCATE: Start from schools. Educate the children as well as the parents about the infection. Its causes, its effects and the myths/stigma surrounding it.
2. Promote usage of condoms. Make it available in colleges and universities and educate people about it.
3. Advertise. With the power the media has today, it can do wonders. Tell more and more people about it. Knowledge is virtue. But half knowledge is dangerous. People now think of only the sexual part of AIDS. Hence the treatment is also the same. It's time to remove that mental block.

Incidentally, a little away from the topic, I feel us Indians are major hypocrites. When it comes to population we are the second largest in the world. When it comes to AIDS, we are the epicenter of the epidemic. We gave the world Kamasutra. I think we are the only culture who glorifies sex (what with the “first night” preparations and all). BUT when it comes to talking about sex… SHHHHhhhhhhhh. That is something which is not to be talked about!!! Why this treatment? By not talking about it and making it a stigma we are indirectly giving more importance to it. But at the same time, since the education level is so low and the awareness about safe sex practices is almost nil … it is not a surprise that we are in such a situation today.

Having said all this, I don’t think even education will solve everything. I don’t know how my parents would react if they came to know that I was close friends with a girl who is HIV infected. Though at present I am not sure how they would react, but I can tell for sure that they will definitely not be very happy about it.

So what is the solution? Let us, from our generation at least make an effort to accept these people as a part of our society. It would be too idealistic to say we will eradicate AIDS. This is kind of too far fetched, as there is no cure/vaccine for it as yet!Till some brilliant people find something about it, let us join hands together and educate our fellow country men and women about the disease and let us make this world a better place to live for the already suffering.

P.S: Reasons for this post:

1. This Link

and

2. Pavan's request.

Of Criminal Lawyers and Child Labour and Motherly Love

Criminal Lawyer:

What makes a person take the side of a criminal? Is it money? Is it just plain professionalism? Is it the urge to do something wild?
I know, a criminal is not one until proven so. Agreed. Also, as a constitutional right, everybody has to get a fair trial, be it a criminal or a poor person, or an influential person. I understand the legality of it. But as a lawyer, if you “know” that somebody has committed a crime (be it small or big), what makes you take the side of them and “fight” to free them?
I know in this materialistic world of complex laws, human rights, media attention, money, power and whatever else you can think of, it is too much to expect everybody to be righteous. But isn’t there something called as moral-conscience? A quiet inner voice which talks to you in the middle of the night?
How can a person sell his soul for money or fame? In comparison to people who sell their souls, people who sell their bodies for money are so much better!

Child Labour:

Today is children’s day. A happy Children’s day to all those millions of children out there in the world. Child labour, as we all know and understand and accept is a bad thing. That clearly shows how backward the society is where it expects a child to work and earn bread for the family. The government (for a change) did something good by banning it. We all also know that this law is in place for as long as we can remember, but unfortunately have not been followed strictly. Now I suppose there will be periodic checks and offenders will be severely prosecuted. This is a good move, but is it in the right direction?
I am all against child labour, but what are we achieving by just taking off their means of bread? The child does get free education and food in school, but what about his/her family?
The situation is not as simple as it meets the eye. Poverty leads to lots of misery. Do I even need to say that? These children work hard to fend not only for themselves but also for their family. If they are off the work, what next?
As I said before, it is a good move but in a bad direction. You cannot just expect to implement the law overnight. The grass root problem has to be looked into.
Provide them part time education. Set maximum hour of work that they can do and rest of the time let them go to school. In that way they are able to do both. And believe me once one generation is educated and has a good job, I am sure they will put their children in schools voluntarily. Provide alternative employment for their family members. Or even give some monetary compensation to such families.
Unfortunately all these measures can be put in place if and only if somebody high up there and every single person below him feels from the bottom of his/her heart for the betterment of the underprivileged children of our country. If it is just again the same old story of vote bank politics and other selfish interests, nothing can save us. Not even God!
God also helps only those who can help or atleast try to attempt to help themselves :)

Motherly Love:

In all this misery around us, there is also Love, plenty of it. Came across this beautiful article in Bellur’s blog

http://english.pravda.ru/society/stories/01-11-2006/85322-coma-0

That is called mother’s love. That is called the most powerful strength in this whole world. That is Love. Pure unconditional Love. That kind of love can be given only by a mother and nobody else.